#my husband and I are still together btw we are just separate due to the situation rn but I can explain more when it all makes sense again

[reaching-ruchnius]

Weird to be married yet alone on Tu B’av - in this Liminality. The home I left behind still feels like home but spiritually ive outgrown it

Yet I miss it

And this new space I’m living in isn’t home (although it must be for now) and I can’t help but hope it isn’t home for long.

It’s just a leap of faith and hope. Cus I want more for the future. Comfort can be so dangerous because it can keep us really trapped

Part of me was so afraid when I realized this was the decision we had to make & the path we need to be on. Because I was so comfortable in some ways.

And now I’m just struggling trying not to take my blessings for granted. But also missing certain things. I’m so torn. But I know we did take the right turn at the last fork in the road and I definitely believe that the road ahead will show us what we were missing. What we never ever would have found if we didn’t set out from our exceedingly comfortable nest.

It’s so hard to uproot as a mother of young kids, especially when you uproot from the type of suburbian dream we were raised to aspire to- into a place of uncertainty and discomfort, anxiety and trepidation.

Hashem is infinitely merciful. This is something i need to learn. I’m fighting my ego , fighting the overwhelming urge to augment my pain w some flimsy grasping at meaning - I know it does have meaning but I need to be humble and realize there’s no way I can understand rn. I am fighting the urge to ask Hashem why He is punishing me. although ofc I’m not denying my misdeeds and wrong turns.

Who knows how He measures our sins and deeds? So how can I know why I’m in discomfort now? Maybe it’s not a punishment. Maybe it’s a gift to stretch oneself in uncomfortable ways - as that is truly the only way to grow past the comfort zone I could have easily languished in. I never planned for more but I can’t any longer deny the neshama that is crying out for Him and I can’t keep my kids from the most whole experience of beauty and truth I’ve ever known. Here we go.

[sonjuponju]

now YOU tell me about YOUR ocs...!!! (if you want) is your pfp enix...🧡

IT IS IT IS!!! that drawing turned out so good i just stick it everywhere now 😭

the thing about my ocs is that i hardly get anything done with them if i don't have someone to constantly validate my choices and help me build ideas and stuff so most of my stories are pretty incomplete and all over the place 🥲 but i do have some bits and pieces that i can share!!

ima put everything under a read more cus there's gonna be a LOT of stuff. you really don't have to read all of it if you find it longwinded, i just really love rambling about my dudes (but only if someone asks 😭)

ENIX, he/him - he's actually one of my older ocs, i created him way back in 2017 when i was like 11 😭 fun fact! his original name was vixen but due to the definition of the word bugging me i recently changed his name to enix :3 another fact but kind of an embarrassing one - he used to have DID, and my 11 year old ass played RIGHT into the "evil alter" trope, so yeahhhh... the only good thing to come out of that was that the "evil alter" eventually became a wholly separate blorbo, named feliks! who we will get into now B)

FELIKS, he/him - my fucking sweet baby. my angel. he has gone through so many transformations it's hilarious

here he is in his "evil alter" days. already got the black eye to signify his "evilness". though i don't think it took very long for me to decide that he was actually the host of the body, not enix. in any case his usual day-to-day activities included pissing everyone around him off and trying some evil schemes every now and then

in like 2018 i got REALLY into this visual novel called "the arcana" and feliks was the ex best friend of the MC my friend cooked up for our version of the story. i didn't want him to be a cyclops for this iteration because i thought it didn't fit the theme, so he had to get a human design. he didn't have DID in this version, but he did have an identical twin brother, named vance. in this story feliks killed vance and became the boyfriend of the villain of the story, also becoming one of the villains in the process. his ex best friend ellis ended up defeating him and he got hanged with his boyfriend for their crimes

now here's where the story gets really juicy. feliks reincarnated in the modern world, and i think i ditched him having DID and instead the "alters" turned out to be the fragmented parts of feliks' dead brother's personality. vance had basically come back to haunt him in a form that was kind of comparable to alters, but also not really

the main arcana characters alongside ellis also reincarnated and ended up finding feliks (who was still evil btw). they were kind of like a friend group for a while until shit hit the fan when everyone found out that feliks killed his brother way back in their past life (they had no idea up until now). ellis became incredibly angry with him and him being a magician turned feliks into water and put him in a vase so he wouldn't be able to hurt anyone ever again

before this happened though i think ellis and his also magician boyfriend were able to piece vance back together and give him a body, so he was reincarnated too. after receiving a second chance at life, vance got himself a boyfriend, and even got married with him. the happiness didn't last for long though when feliks was able to sneak himself in his water form into vance's husband's water bottle. the husband drunk the water and ended up possessed by feliks 🙃 feliks killed vance AGAIN, was able to return to his own body by also killing vance's husband, annnnddd... then ellis caught up to him and beheaded him with his scythe. (god i still love this story)

after death feliks became a demon in hell, and that's basically where his story ends. idk i must've gotten another interest at this point because i didn't get any further with the story

in 2020 i decided to revamp him AGAIN, this time making my own fantasy universe for him. i got a couple of my friends involved with it too (this was basically a species i made specifically for that thing and my friends made ocs of that species). the story for it was really juicy too but im not gonna be telling about it cus it's almost identical to my current project with him and i might wanna make it into a real thing one day so.. SPEAKING OF WHICH

HIS CURRENT DESIGN. MORE PHOTOS.

I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT HIM!!!!!!! GAAGAHAJJSDJDKSK

anyway. yeah, there isn't much i can tell about the story, but i can tell you about how SHIT it is trying to come up with fantasy clothing. i am no fashion designer, not by a longshot, so my boy has his tits out 24/7 because i can't think of anything he could wear (and also i just love seeing him bare chested ❤️). i kinda don't even know where to start with the clothes cus i don't want them to be the generic european medieval stuff you see in fantasy CONSTANTLY and i am awfully lazy at researching anything that isn't my number 1 interest so. yah. to combat not being able to draw him with a canon design, i made a domestic modern au 🫶

here's feliks and his roomie clancy :3 they are my biggest blorbos rn and i would REALLY love to talk more about them but um. yeah this post is long enough especially considering there is still one oc i wanna mention

here's valo!! she is feliks' sister. you might think wait you didn't mention feliks having a sister? no i didn't because she is his BROTHER. I GENDERBENDED VANCE. BECAUSE IT WOULD FUCK. and yeah she is absolutely incredible i love her from the bottom of my heart. valo and feliks still have kind of a complicated relationship but at least in the au feliks doesn't kill her :D she's just kinda chilling with her gf until i come up with a story for her too

so ya that's all i wanted to talk about for now!! if you read this far then thank you 😭🫶 i had so much fun writing this. i was busy the whole day today but i just kept thinking about how much i wanted to answer your ask haha. i didn't plan for it to get so long though but im super grateful if you read this far 🥹

[resident-leevil-old]

okay well anyways somebody asked me if i felt like talking about my raccoon city survivors au with mia and ethan again and the answer is YES.

> AU MINI FACTS <

- Ethan's mother died while giving birth.

- Ethan Winters and his father moved into Raccoon City when Ethan was a baby, around 3-4 years old.

- Ethan trans ftm because im trans and i said so.

- Mia trans mtf because im trans and i said so.

- Ethan & Mia are childhood friend to lovers in this au.

- Ethan's father worked for Umbrella, and Mia's father worked for the Connections while her mother also worked for Umbrella.

- Mia was born in Texas, but her family moved to Raccoon City after she was born. They still owned property in Texas, though.

- Mia & Carlos are related because I said so.

- so yknow the "dude its been three years" guy? that's their childhood friend and his name is Kyde because i said so.

- Albert Wesker Personally was ordered by Spencer to kill those scientists btw.

- a lot of this au is because i said so tbh

> AU SUMMARY <

Ethan Winters, Mia Oliviera, and Kyde Wells work together to survive six days of the Raccoon City Outbreak. In the process they uncover secrets and encounter many obstacles that just nearly cost them their lives.

> CHAR.BGROUND <

ETHAN W, SR - A scientist who worked for Umbrella. He lost his wife during the birth of his child E///// Winters. Struggling with the death of his wife and the harsh decline of his mental health, he began to experiment with viruses and vaccines in an attempt to bring his wife back, even using his child as a subject at certain points due to the child having strong genes from the mother. He acknowledged that he was a horrid father, but justified his actions by claiming he would bring back a better mother. He thought of Albert Wesker as a friend, and told him the truth of his research.

ETHAN W, JR - A quiet 14 year old that had a hard time making friends. Due to experiments from his father, Ethan is a culmination of infections and viruses that each impact him in different ways. As he grew up Ethan refrained from talking too much as to not interrupt his father's work, causing him to become selectively mute.

MIA OLIVIERA - Younger sister of Carlos Oliviera. Mia skipped a grade due to her intelligence and advanced knowledge on many things kids her age normally didn't. She very easily got sick as a child, though she seemed to outgrow it as she got older. She was schooled both at home and at school before the outbreak. She shared classes with Ethan Winters (Jr) and Kyde Wells.

KYDE WELLS - A friend of Ethan & Mia, known for his cowardice. Kyde has a heavy sense of self preservation, but a weighted sense of compassion as well. He only ever has risked himself for his two friends.

JAMES HARISON - Mia's father. He worked for the Connections as a scientist and a researcher. Harison and his wife often exchanged information they learned from their jobs, aiming to and succeeding at "fixing" their daughter's proneness to viral sicknesses.

MARISA OLIVIERA - Mia's mother. He worked for Umbrella as a researcher. Oliviera and her husband often exchanged information they learned from their jobs, aiming to and succeeding at "fixing" their daughter's proneness to viral sicknesses.

JAKE VERANO - An Umbrella worker who had been trapped in the underground facility for a week, listening to the sound of his coworkers being eaten alive. Unstable because of his experience, he tries to create a cure using the intel of Ethan W (SR).

> FULL AU <

[September, 25, 1998.]

Ethan Winters walked home from school when his father failed to pick him up. He walked through the streets, paying no mind to a big fight breaking out near him. On the way home, he meets up with his friend Kyde who had also been walking home. They talk and walk together for a bit, before splitting up.

When Ethan arrived home, he noticed the front door of his house had been opened slightly. Confused, but wary, he entered the house, knowing it was uncharacteristic for his father to forget the door was open.

He entered the living room, and found his father laying on the ground dead, shot twice in the head, having just been killed moments prior. Ethan moved over to his father, before Albert Wesker walked out of his father's office.

Ethan barely has much time to react to him, overwhelmed by his own panic and the death of the only adult in his life. Wesker - wanting no witnesses - shoots him three times in the chest, and leaves under the impression the child is dead for good.

Ethan Winters dies for the first time that evening.

[September, 27, 1998]

For the past two days, Mia and her parents have been barricaded in their home, unable to leave safely. Mia sat in her room for most of the time, unable to look out of the windows due to boards covering them. During those two days Mia tries to call Ethan and Kyde several times in hopes that they were safe. Neither of them answer.

Until this day, the 27th, at 2:00 am, when she calls Ethan. And he answers.

{TRANSCRIPT OF THEIR CALL:}

Ethan: h-hello?

Mia: [Ethan]! You're alive! Are you okay?

Ethan: I'm breathing. [Pause] I'm breathing. You okay?

Mia: I'm boarded up in my house, we can't leave safely. Everything is a mess. I'm so glad you're alive, [Ethan]. Are you safe? I'm guessing you're safe.

Ethan: Not sure. Not sure. Find you soon, here alone. Alone.

Mia: Alone? What happened? Where's your dad?

Ethan: [Pause.] [Loud sound in the distance.]

Mia: [Ethan]? Are you okay?

Ethan: [Dial tone.]

Mia speaks with her parents about the call, expressing worry about her friend. She spends a while trying to convince her parents that Ethan may be alive (purposefully omitting the dial tone) and need their help. Finally, they agree, and at 12 pm, they head out with all the resources they could gather.

Managing to stay out of sight, the family make it to the Winters' household. They find Ethan hiding in his bedroom, one infected laying in the hallway with a pole through its head and Ethan's father laying in the living room dead.

They rescue Ethan, and flee from the house. Mia's parents explain that they need to evacuate the city, but that they wouldn't be able to drive, so they'd have to move on foot. They returned to their house and rested for the night.

[September, 28, 1998]

The family and Ethan head out again, this time aiming to evacuate the city. After several close encounters with large groups of infected, the kids and Mia's parents are unfortunately separated. Given instructions by her parents, Mia leads Ethan through the city, having to take detours due to infected blocking pathways.

Eventually, during the night, they run into Kyde, who has lost his parents trying to escape the city. The three of them take refuge in an empty abandoned house, and rest for the walk in the morning.

Ethan sits up for a while, thinking about what happened to him, and trying to figure out how to explain it to his friends. Eventually he falls asleep, unable to figure it out. In the morning they head out again.

[September, 29-30, 1998]

During another detour taken due to large groups of infected, Ethan is kidnapped by a man in a white lab coat.

Mia & Kyde go after them, refusing to leave Ethan behind. They manage to find him after roughly half a day had passed.

Ethan had been in a hysterical state and through tears he explains to Mia and Kyde what had happened to him in his house a few days ago, confessing that he had died and revived two days later. He warns the two of them that whatever Jake, the white lab coat man, did to him, it made him dangerous and unstable.

Mia and Kyde refused again to leave him behind, and spend hours gathering information from files and research left scattered around. They manage to make Something that was able to calm him down and cleanse what they had learned had been called the "T-virus" from his body.

As soon as Ethan had woken up again, they fleed the facility, Mia & Kyde both making sure he didn't collapse on the way.

[October, 1, 1998]

They don't stop running when they're out. A broadcast goes out saying that the city will be blown up in four hours due to being unable to contain the outbreak. The three of them realize they won't be able to get out if they take anymore detours unless they find a vehicle with gas in it and a clear road to drive on.

Three hours later, out of options, nearly to the city boarder, and faced with another group of infected blocking the only straight shot out, they decide to risk a run through. However, just as they were pushing through, a helicopter flew overhead and spotted them. Calling to them, the pilot tells them to attempt making it up a building nearby if they could.

Through pure bullshittery and luck, they manage to make it up, and they board the helicopter. Just as it begins to take flight, the city starts to blow up bit by bit. In the distance, they see other helicopters flying.

> AFTER THE AU <

Mia and her parents reunite, her parents having managed to get out before the children did. Kyde goes to live with his relatives in Texas, and Ethan is offered to live with them as well.

Mia's parents move back to their texas home, and everyone who had been in the city were given therapy. Eventually the three grow up and graduate from highschool, and move on to other things, never once separating.

The three of them eventually move into a single house together in California, and some time after that Mia and Ethan get married. And for a while they live happily

And then, Mia witnesses Ethan having some sort of attack in the middle of the night one time, and realizes that he hadn't been completely cured of whatever had been infecting him in the city at all, and that it had only gone dormant for some years. While he wasn't vicious or attacking anyone, Ethan had just been really plagued and didn't even remember the fits that only seemed to happen every other night.

Out of worry and fear, Mia begins to work for the Connections, hoping there was something she could learn from them in order to help her husband finally be cured. And years after, RE7 began.

And THAT, my friends, is my Raccoon City Survivors au with the Winters, also known as Raccoon City Winters.

[loveshxt12]

Could you do a nsfw one shot. It’s bakugo and his newly wed wife. First day off they shared since getting married. Reader feels ignored and attention seeking and her lively husband shows her all the ways he pays attention to her. 🤤 Btw I ❤️❤️❤️ your writing!!

attention

Warnings: smut (oral sex [female receiving], fingering, dirty talk), cursing.

Words: 1.1k

A/N: this is my longest writing so far and that makes me more insecure about my english lmao. anyway, thank u so much adfkjah, i hope you like it and enjoy!

---

You didn't hate your job at all, I mean, being able to save other people's lives is the best thing you've ever felt, but when it comes to time... It's hard not to get tired of the routine. Your husband Bakugou, is a pro-hero as well. That means that neither him nor you had a fixed schedule.

Most days consist of eating breakfast, going to work, and coming back home at midnight to sleep. Sometimes you have an opportunity to return earlier from work, however your husband is still on patrol or vice versa.

Today, after two months of getting married, you both had your first day off.

You imagined that being married it meant spending more time together, living in the same house, and trying to have more intimacy both mentally and physically. But you weren't totally happy because you both barely kissed, it's like you didn't felt like his wife yet, if that makes sense.

You were needy.

Lay on bed and watch a movie was something a normal person would do on his day off and well; you weren't the exception. However, your attention went to the boy next to you, who was watching tv with a bored expression.The need filled you, so you buried your head on the crook of his neck, with your arms wrapped around his waist. Bakugou posed his forearm behind your neck, hugging you, and lay his cheek on your hair.

“I’ve missed spending time with you” you spoke against his neck, he hummed. You started to draw circles on his collarbone, ascending your movements to his jaw and finally your finger landed on his lips, but the guy didn't flinch, you sighed and pouted. After trying to distract him twice, he ended up tightening his grip or just gently stroked you. “Now that we can be together, you're not paying attention to me” you spoke.

Bakugou looked at you, frowning “You're literally on my chest and I’m hugging you, what makes you think otherwise, huh?”

You pressed your forehead against his neck, embarrassed because you were never the one who asked him to have sex, and now you didn't know how to say it. “I mean the other kind of attention, you know?” you muttered a little embarrassed.

The blond guy smirked. “You want me to fuck you, don’t you?” he said mocking you.

You hushed him while hitting his chest gently at this coarseness, “Stop, it's not my fault, I don't even remember the last time we had sex” you exaggerated. “Plus, we didn't have honeymoon”.

“Fair enough”

You looked up when you felt his fingers running through your hair. His lips collided with yours, his hands cupping your jaw. You didn't have time to process his actions. He bit your lower lip, causing you to open your mouth eager to receive his tongue. You started to feel the heat growing up on your body. you separate your lips and straddle his waist. "I just want some attention"

“I’ll give you all you deserve” he said under his breath, making you smile. Your lips dipped into a deeper kiss, his fingers traversed the back of your thighs, his soft touch making you shiver, he stopped his movements when his hands reached your butt. You moaned when you felt a squeeze.

He held your hips, and moved it forward and backward. A bulge started to press against your core. He helped you to remove your shirt and bra, his hands moved to your breast, you separated once more to remove his tank top. You felt his grip on your waist and then his body pushed you backward, your back lay on the bed and the blonde guy on top. His kisses were descending, passing over your neck, collarbones, chest, tummy and finally, he arrived to your low belly.

You wanted him so much. And you knew he wanted you as well due to the look he gave you.

A giggle fell from your mouth when you saw the despair at the way Bakugou teared off your pants and undies. “It seems like I’m not the only needy person here” you teased.

“Shut up”

A sudden moan filled your husband's ears when his tongue stroked your clit, he kept a constant pace, moving his tongue up and down through your core, teasing your hole. Each arm around your thighs and his lustful gaze on you.

He used his fingers to stimulate your pussy while his tongue was swirling slowly around and sucking your button. A shaky cry left your throat when his fingertips rubbed your g-spot, your thighs tensed at the feeling, you tried your hardest not to close your legs.

Your eyes open as you feel the stimulation fading “N-no... what are you- oH” you gasped.

“So fucking tight” he groans when his cock filled you completely. It's been a while since you had sex and it feels amazing. “Are you still on the pill?” he asked with eyes closed.

“Yeah” you felt like you almost couldn’t take him. he just gave you seconds to get used to his size before he starts pounding into you, the feeling was overwhelming. You fit him like a glove.

Bakugou loved the view he had, he could see his cock disappear between your folds, your bouncing boobs and your blushed face. Damn, he didn't know how much he missed having sex 'till now.

“Faster... please” you said and he gladly increased his pace, the sound of his skin slamming yours was louder than the movie. The blond guy was cursing under his breath, drunk with desire.

“You like that, huh?” he groaned and you could only nod. You instantly felt a slap in the lower area of your ass. “I didn’t hear you”

“Yes, I do” you arched your back and closed your legs together due to the sensation.

Bakugou pulled out his dick and turned you effortlessly, your hands helped you to keep your balance. His manhood filling you again without any warning, gasp and shaky moans leaving your mouth, this position fully exposed your sweet spot to his cock. His hands were on your hips, controlling its pace.

Finally, you felt a tingling sensation on your low belly, your walls squeezed. Bakugou noticed that your release was near so his thrusts became slower but deeper and sharp, hitting merciless your g-spot. “I’m c-close…” you gasped

“Come on, babe. Cum all over my fucking cock like the good girl you are” his fingers rubbed your clit.

You reached your orgasm with a shaky gasp and you felt him cumming inside you with a groan.

Your arms gave up holding your weight and you pressed your forehead against the sheet, "That was fucking hot" he mumbled. You giggle breathlessly and then he pulled away his manhood, making you feel empty.

Lazily you both lay again, in the same position you were at the beginning, let's see how long will take this time to get out of bed.

---

please feel free to let me know if there's any misspelling.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

So from what I’ve read (from your works), Haru and Kaito are low key dating. I was wondering if you, dear author, could give us some head canons or maybe a scenario of how they started dating. I love your AU and your works❤️

Sorry for the delay! I was trying to elaborate a cute scenario at least for these two

Btw thanks for the help @mistysandwichfeather

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Always on his life he kept seing his parents affection towards each other, subtle or not.

As a toddler he would always point it out how gross it was to seing his father sneak a kiss on his mother, leaving him a but jealous since he was VERY attached to his mom.

But when the years went by, he saw that this was quite normal. Despite his dad being a mysophobic and clean freak, he always joked about hiw he reminded him of one of his favorite characters and every time Chisski would scowl at his son, completely offended.

Many times Kaito doubted that his father really loved his mother due to his personality... but now he noticed how wrong was he.

Dad was brute, bold and even acting like a soulless being in front of others, especially strangers; Pops and uncle Kurono he was a but more vanilla but he never once saw him smilling or not spilling a sarcastic or even rude comment at them.

With mom though? God how he changed. He had that soft and little dpark on his eyes whenever he only looked at her, bathed her in gifts even despite her protests. Even having his mysophobia, always checking his family to see if they did their basic cleaning, he would always touch you without a second thought.

Pops and uncle Kurono often sayed that she kept him 'grounded'. His grandfather always letting clear that (Y/n) saved Kai from a possible dark path on his life, that she was his Yin and Chisaki was her Yang.

He snickered often at that, remind that his parents had matching hidden necklaces with those symbols. Not believing that such a thing was possible to even happen again.

His parents were a exception. His mom and dad, even despite being completely opposities, they were together and still had that same fire on their relationship.

So much as a proof that he had a little sister later....

But... now? As he looked at his childhood friend simply talking about how her father, his godparent, had teached her how to use a gun just yesterday, he noticed something... different spreading through his chest.

He felt... weird per see. Haru was just talking for God's sake, yet he was paying attention he felt more attracted by the way her eyes lifted up.

He made the mistake of going to talk with his father about it, not mentioning still who it was that made him feel like that.

Chisaki just stopped abruptly his reading as he let the taxes on his hands fall on his desk.

"... You're sick." He answered, making Kaito freeze yet emit a cinfused as fuck sound, and a bit offended.

"You've got sick. The same illness that I got some years ago." He said nonchalantly while staring at his son numbly.

"What the hell dead? No, im not." He answered with the same expression, before he open his mouth on a 'O' shape when Chisaki sighed in irritation and showed his son the ring that was on his hand.

Shit. That illness.

It couldn't be. Haru was his childhood friend as long as he could remember. And the comments of buying things for her coming from his father didn't helped one bit.

He found himself completely lost. But still went to talk with his mother, someone who could talk feelings better than his dad for sure.

The laughter she gave when he told what his dad commented about the illness had eased him up a bit. His mother was always not only his but the sorce of comfort for the Chisakis in general. His sister, his father....

Although for his dismay she had agreed with his dad. He was in love.

"Dear gosh my soldier even with dealing with feelings you are the spitting image of your dad!" She giggled while carresing his dark brow looks.

"Don't say that mom. Please." He grimaced.

He wasn't that similiar with his father.

Now, with both his parents opinion... he needed to prove that. He needed to be sure he truly was feeling those strange yet suffocating feelings his mom and dad had told him about.

Haru was just talking about the aim of a gun or something about how she was practicing parkour and almost scared the shit out of her dad... before he brought his hand to her chin, noticing the sudden blush on her cheeks appearing at his action.

"U-uh... Kaito-kun?" She asked with uncertain.

She had developed a huge damn crush with the boss's son. Even dsring to talk about it with her auntie and Kin... but never really had the courage of saying to the boy himself.

He squinted his eyes a bit as he seened to examinate her face with caution... before he slowly aproached and placed his lips over hers.

The joilt of electricity he felt was strong. Really strong. But yet... good. He worried for a second when Haru had gasped but soon melted, bringing caustiously her arms to wrap around his neck.

He grunted when she accidentally gripped abit too tight but had awkwardly used his free arm to envelop her midsection while his hand was still on her chin.

When both separated Haru was just as red as a rose, taking her arms off from Kaito to cover her mouth as she started to make scream on then.

"... Dramatic." He pointed out numbly as she looked at him with wide eyes.

"W-what was that for?!"

"Is true." He breathed out, smirking a bit after before looking at Haru "I am in love with you. Forgive me for taking too long to notice Haru."

She gagged, takinga few minutes to breath in and out to regain her composure. With a embarrased smile she returned to look at those soft yet serious (E/c).

"Really?"

"Yeah. Its been months already that I'm trying to figure it out." He said while bringing a hand to scract the back of his neck. "Might as well talk with uncle about me wanting to be your partner or else he will shoot me." He snickered at Haru's laugh.

"You bet. But I guess I am in the more prejudicial side. After all you are the son of Overhaul, auntie (Y/n) and Kin already know but your father might be a-"

"Wait wait. Hang on" he lifted his hands up for her to stop as his face looked normal but his eyes spotted how hotrified he was "My mom and sister knows about this?"

"I might have told them that I had a crush on you when I was 10?" She shrugged with a uncaring expression.

"... you caved my grave woman."

Bonus:

You and Pops dropped the cups of tea you both had in your hands while Kai and Hari's eyes almost fell fron the way they had widen. All the adults with their jaws wide open while Kin yelped in joy and went to give her sis sis a hug.

"...Uh. saying something would be... apreaciated?" Kaito spoked with worry on his voice at seing the reaction of his parents while Haru looked at her father with worry as well.

Suddenly you yelled 'YES!' In joy laughing while Pops got up from his own seat with chuckles saying something about that they had won... while Kurono and chisaku were simply frozen.

"Huh?" The both young teenagers spoked in confusion, not getting why the elder and the woman were celebrating about.

"To explain for both of you, we all made a bet if you teo love birds were going to be together or not." Pops sayed while making his way to get a broom to clean the mess while chuckling.

Luckily there wasn't any tea on those cups....

"And we won!" You sayed in pure joy, giggling at your husband's pretified expression along with his childhood friend.

"So as I can probably tell uncle and dad betted that we weren't going to end up dating?" Kaito sayed, genuily scared and worried for the mans he was usually so used to seing calm and collected with wide eyes.

"... why of all the people it had to be block head's brat..?" Kai suddenly muttered, only you and Chrono were able to hear it though.... the comment making Hari snap out of his shock.

"What was THAT supposed to mean?" He said with a frow, not even bothering with the death glare Chisaki sended him.

"You know what I meant. Chronostasis."

"Stop with that attitude both of you. Accelt that both lost." Pops sayed right after he came back, accepting your offer to help with a smile.

Kaito and Haru changed looks... did they had caused the third war without thinking?

[monsterkingdom]

Heya! welcome to the masterpost I’m making to keep track of how I view my Wandersong AU that I’ve dubbed

Eya-Born

Read below!

Concept

The concept of this AU is very simple! Kiwi -- our Bard-- is a being made directly from Eya. That is to say, they are basically a demi-god.

When setting up to finally have the passing of the Universe -- Singing her song again-- Many know of the Hero who is sent to usher out this task within its final moments.

What if, before even that prophetic dream and entities start truly deteriorating-- She made a being to also challenge the idea with the knowledge of the ever so elusive Earthsong. That’s where this AU comes in!

Beginning

Eya created a being to see how much the world truly is in disarray and attempt to remedy it in their own way. A being free from fate. Free-will was her emphasis... as well as her attunement to magic-- which by default meant music.

They were sent to the Earth the Wandersong Universe knows... Specifically to a woman living in a city in the midst of industrial change. Riddled with loneliness due to a husband who got too into his work and guilt.

Seeing such an ailed child on her doorstep, a scenario one only hears in fairytales... She took the child in wholeheartedly, worrying who would leave them in such a state. After searching for the origins to no avail, she decided to raise them as her own.

Under the name Jack. Named after the fabled protagonist of many fairytales and rhymes... it seemed fitting based on their circumstances.

And thus, begins the bard’s life.. full of normality in every sense of the word.

....almost every sense of the word.

The magical properties of their music were always something they grew up with. Though, it didn’t do too much... Their mother assumed that the child was most likely part witch. As simple as that.

As least... as simple as trying to mask their child’s slightly pink tinged hair with several different hats upon growing up. Thankfully, Chismest was starting its headstrong course on being perpetually cold and gloomy by the bard’s early years and being bundled up was definitely inevitable indoors and out.

Cutting forward to the events of Wandersong, many of everything ended up panning out the same. The prophetic dreams, ghastly encounters, universal fates amounting to nothing, so on and so forth...

The not-so-Earthsong was sung. The world was saved... the zip and zap from the dreamtower was done and the dialogue with Eya congratulating them begins. However... as she starts prepping to send them off. A rumble occurs... the clouds separate and palms grasp the platform the three of them stand on.

Reunion

(now please enjoy this minor comic I did half a year ago)

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(ok end back to writing)

Kiwi then began-- as Eyala once put it-- “vicariously feeling Eya’s love through everything in the world” (paraphrasing this btw)

However, there’s... quite a lot of love to feel. Especially when you’re not used to it. That happiness... that joy... starts feeling a bit weird when you can’t turn it off.

Needless to day Kiwi didn’t adapt well.

Though... Eya, in all her overseeing capabilities... seemed to have a detached reaction to the whole situation.

“Oh fine fine...” she waved her hand slightly... the hue in Kiwi’s face settling a bit, though their face still bore an expression that showed they were still under some of the emotional weight of the whole thing.

“I suppose it is a bit much all at once... You’d probably be better off having it opened but unleashed through your own discoveries.”

Before Miriam could question further, the goddess’ gaze shifted to that of her Angelic assistance, who was watching the whole thing rather speechlessly.

“Eyala, dearest...” the melodic voice of Eya’s godly tones spooled out toward her, “I’m putting you in charge of guiding them through the basics.”

“M-Me, Eya?” She hesitantly replied, “I mean... of course!” she sputtered out.

“Eeeeeeexcellent” she chimed, “We can see they’re already experiencing increased empathy... maybe in due time they’ll be able to discover their other properties. The bard may excel beyond your basic prowess later on, Eyala, but your knowledge is a wonderful base for the poor dear...”

Eyala wordlessly nodded, clearly not about to speak up about the whole ordeal Kiwi had gone through in front of the goddess herself,

“In any case... I am greatly pleased with your performance, child. As a reminder, this is my gift to you. The locks are now undone... all that is needed is for you to learn. Maybe then you’ll be ready to take it in this way.” she smiled, eye crinkling with pleasure as Miriam helped Kiwi to their feet,

“Eyala will assist you in any way she can... She’ll probably teach you how to contact her with ease after this. However, I must leave you now... re-establishing the universe that was saved and all” she chuckled about it, hair slowly enveloping her face before she began receding into the clouds once more.

The godly presence left in an instant, leaving the trio to stand bewildered on the platform once more.

“So...” Eyala began.

“...Is she... normally like that?” Kiwi wheezed out, finally gathering their bearings.

“Yeah... she didn’t sound empathetic like the tales blab about her being.”

Eyala frowned at the two of them and clapsed her hands together, “She tries her best... but, she doesn’t get to experience things as much as she used to. Though, her love for everything is still here...”

The angel sighed and floats closer to Kiwi, holding their face slightly. A bit more tenderly than the goddess did to them previously,

“We’re gonna make this easier for you, lil’ B. I promise.”

Learning

Kiwi-- being a direct piece of Eya as opposed to a simple messenger like Eyala-- had a lot more going for them in terms of connections to things. As someone who normally was pretty darn good at burying their feelings into the dirt, suddenly feeling a good amount of what everything else did along with their own weird doubts was quite a bunch to take in.

They went through with their hellos and good-byes, keeping their misty tears in as best they could. They met up with their mother during... trying desperately to hold their tongue as she rambled on about their ‘long lost’ father finally come home... hoping all of them could live normal again. That they could be normal.

They were whisked home in the  late evening after staying with Miriam for dinner... holding her closer than ever in their ever-so-tired arms... before letting her drift into the night sky and drift to their bed.

Only to be unable to sleep due to all the sudden emotions they felt. Realizing... ever suddenly.. a lot of them were from the people they interacted with. It was like having thousands of voices and waves of feelings hit you in a chaotic, nonsensical cacophony. It all felt like static, their brain muddled with thoughts not quite their own. They shook their head and for the first time in a while... they cried.

They felt the immense weight of these feelings drag down their face, the tears building and washing over their cheeks relentlessly. They couldn’t tell if they were happy, scared, or sad. Or if it was even them that felt this way.

A hand touched their shoulder, a familiar glow next to them. Kiwi needn’t even look to know it was Eyala again. checking in on them, most likely.

“Hey... Lil’ B.” her voice whispered, “I know it’s... a lot. You’re being left on a pretty bad note.” Kiwi turned,, face still full of tears and their voice caught in their throat from.. well... everything. They simply nodded in agreement.

Even Eyala could see the visible strain on Kiwi’s face.. and very well knew the reason why, “ Here. Let’s start with this instead... and I can help with the contact stuff tomorrow. We gotta help you filter this all out.” She held their hands in hers, rubbing their palms with her thumbs, “Just... focus on me. Okay? It helps to have something to think about other than people... “

Kiwi nodded... and looked Eyala over. Her hair effortlessly floating behind her in its usual ever-shifting hue... her smile, small, but visible. They could read the concern on her despite having most visible features omitted... Eyala was good at that. Expressing herself through motion and all. It reminded Kiwi of themself.

Without realizing it-- they found their head suddenly empty... well. mostly. There was still that static tingle in the back of their head. Near their neck, it felt. Almost like forgetting something important... but they pushed it down. Much like anything else they felt in the past... and let out a shaky sigh.

“That better...?”

Kiwi nodded again, looking at their hand for a sense of stability now.

It glowed... not much but. It was just a tinge... ever slightly lighter than the darkness surrounding them and Eyala, “So...” they scratchily started, “I’m really...”

“A real child of Eya. Not just in... like... a collective universe sense. Yeah.”

“Wow...”

--WIP ATM BC BED--

[nostalgiaslithersin]

Muggle!MC Challenge

The timing of your challenge couldn’t have been better, @cursebreakerfarrier​, because I was actually thinking about this the other day!

The Picrew I used can be found here.

Muggle!Lee: 

Lee was a mix of jock and nerd growing up. Participated in sports like football and rugby, and cofounded his secondary school’s chess club with his friend Murphy McNully.  

He was also super into computer science and physics. 

(Most sciences are fascinating to him, really. Biology is probably his least favorite.) 

A gifted student. Valedictorian of his class in both secondary school and university... at the cost of his sleep schedule and sanity, among other things. 

Seriously. Keeping up with classes, extracurricular activities, and work would be difficult for any person, but for someone like Lee who has trouble retaining focus for extended periods of time, it was especially taxing. He was working his fingers to the bone and fueling up on caffeine daily to survive. 

(Hello, undiagnosed ADHD. My old friend.)

Speaking of university, in my early drafts of Lee’s HPHM character, I toyed with the idea of him being an inventor of some sort in the future, so my mind immediately went to robotics for Muggle!Lee. I could see him pursuing something like electrical engineering as a major and future career.

He would definitely be a big fan of MythBusters later in life when it aired, btw. That’s just a given. 

And I could see him taking part in those competitions where robots designed by the player(s) fight each other. Idk, it just feels like something he’d be totally into haha.

As for his love life, that was one of the ‘other things’ that suffered as a result of Lee's hectic schedule/workaholic tendencies. 

Before his husband, his most significant relationship was with aspiring athlete Skye Parkin, and it was very tumultuous. On-and-off-again for years, with a bad ending. Completely destroyed their friendship and turned Lee off to serious relationships for a long time. 

Later in his adulthood, Lee met Detective Talbott Winger at a mutual friend’s (Penny's!) birthday party. He saw him hovering on the outskirts of the crowd and made it his mission that night to talk to him. 

Talbott, being the grumpy introvert we know and love, had every intention to duck out of the party early and was subsequently very annoyed when a random guy came up to him and started making conversation. 

They talked out on the balcony until three in the morning, and in the end, Tal gave Lee his number. To this day, he has no idea how that happened.

They got married two years later, and have been together ever since. 

Their family includes three older children they adopted together, a toad named Toad, and a pair of parrots named after two of Talbott’s favorite poets. 

Muggle!Phoebe:

She was 100% a band geek growing up. Was always involved in orchestra and choir all throughout her education years. Some things never change. 

She also occasionally partook in football with friends, playing as a goalie. 

It’s through this where she meets Orion Amari, a new kid at their school who asked to join their game after watching them play. 

Considering he didn’t look like the jock type, Phoebe was unprepared for how damned good a player he was and lost her goal-saving hot streak to a well-executed score of his. It wasn’t enough to save his team, but it kickstarted Phoebe’s friendly vendetta against him and got them talking.  

Their friendship developed very quickly, and it was to the surprise of no one when they started dating the following year. They were clearly smitten with each other. 

They broke up two years later, but it was amicable and mostly due to graduating and going their separate ways. They remained good friends.

Uni was when Phoebe really came into herself and her identity as a bisexual woman. She was closeted and struggled with her attraction to women throughout her teenage years, but as an adult, she finally felt ready to explore her sexuality and eventually found confidence and pride in it.

She studied music theory, btw. Like Witch!Phoebe, music is her life’s passion and her dream is to be a rock star. 

She was part of a queer, all-female punk rock band as the lead guitarist and one of the vocalists.They were very popular on campus.

The band broke up shortly after uni due to creative differences. It was also rumored that lead vocalist Merula Snyde did not take well to Phoebe dating Tulip Karasu, her ex-girlfriend whom she still secretly had feelings for, which caused a massive rift between the two musicians. 

(The rumor was true, and the stress of it all ended up being the undoing of Phoebe and Tulip’s relationship as well. RIP.)

After graduating, Phoebe worked a lot of odd jobs to support herself while she slowly but surely began to make a name for herself within the music industry, eventually starting a well-received hard rock band with her favorite (and only) brother, Jacob, and his best friend Duncan Ashe. 

It was during a performance at a pub in Glasgow, Scotland, that Phoebe had a surprise reunion with Orion. The pair had fallen out of touch in the decade they’d been apart, but it became apparent very quickly as they caught up that the love between them hadn’t faded with time. 

And since I’m predictable, they do get back together and stay together for the rest of their lives.

In Phoebe’s mind, her greatest achievement in life is the two daughters she has with Orion, but the first album she ever put out with her band and her continuously growing and varying discography is definitely up there as well. :)

[illyria-and-her-pet]

I was watching the 1992 Olympics compulsory dance and there was a fluff about Isabelle Duchesnay and Christopher Dean since the Duchesnays were competing for Olympic gold (they ended up winning silver behind Klimova/Ponomarenko) in their home country of France, Chris was their choreographer, and Isabelle and Chris were married. Then I came across a video from a Torvill/Dean shipper called “I DO NOT LOVE YOU ISABELLE” (see here if you want lmao) and the comments said Chris only marred Isabelle because he was in love with Jayne and heartbroken after Jayne got married and that Jayne was the only one who could handle Chris since she was so laid back. I was like what, but someone on twitter told me this is actually true and he admitted it in their Life Stories special and “he admitted he felt empty because Jayne "wasn’t his" so he rushed into it. Jayne also admitted she always loved him too, but they decided to put it behind them.” So I decided to look up old articles for the drama!

BTW for some background info Jayne married Phil Christensen in 1990 and they’re still married to this day and have two adopted children.

Chris Dean and Isabelle Duchesnay were married from 1991 to 1993 and then divorced because Chris cheated on her with tons of other women (that didn’t include Jayne). Isabelle also said Jayne hated her, was probably in love with Chris, and the only time she ever smiled at her was when she announced she was divorcing Chris:

“Jayne hated me. I think perhaps she was in love with Chris before and never accepted me. The only time she ever smiled at me was when I announced I was divorcing him.” -Isabelle Duchesnay, whose marriage to Dean lasted less than three years (x)

Duchesnay had gone public with complaints that Dean cheated on her with a succession of women and that his on-ice intimacy with Torvill left her feeling excluded. Of Trenary, then dating the legally separated Dean, Duchesnay said, “I feel sorry for her.” (x)

Chris and Jill Trenary (American singles skater who was world champion in 1990) were married from 1994 to 2010 and have two kids. Jill said she didn’t care that Chris cheated on Isabelle because she was madly in love, Jayne’s husband Phil was the best man at their wedding, and Chris said that he was sure that he will spend the rest of his life with Jill:

Dean denied Duchesnay’s accusations, and Trenary didn’t care: she was, she said, “madly in love.” Dean, divorced in December, formally proposed two months later in Norway, moments after he and Torvill won a bronze medal in their Olympic reunion. In a room below the ice rink, he knelt and popped the question. “It was kinda cute,” said Trenary.

And so was she, at the wedding, in her white lace, off-the-shoulder gown. When she walked down the aisle with her father, Robert, a steel-mill owner, Torvill sat in a nearby pew. Her husband, Phil Christensen, a sound engineer, served as best man. And yes, there was ice—at the reception, chilling the champagne Dean raised in toast to his new wife. “There are not many things in life you can be sure of,” he said. “One thing I’m sure about: this is the girl I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. (x)

It didn’t last for the rest of his life and Chris and Jill ended up separating in 2010 due to various reasons, one being that Chris no longer lived full time in Colorado and had to go back to the UK for 6 months when Dancing on Ice started. Chris and Jill were still on good terms though. 

Chris started dating Karen Barber (she was an ice dancer who’s partner was Nicky Slater the B.ESP uncle) who was also a Dancing on Ice judge in 2011. They’re still together in 2019. They started dating after Chris separated from Jill and Karen separated from her husband of 21 years, Stephen Pickavance: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1347560/amp/Dancing-On-Ices-Karen-Barber-leaves-husband-caught-kissing-Christopher-Dean.html

At first Chris denied the relationship and said they were just sleepovers as friends since they knew each other since they were 16 and competing together. I also found out that Chris, Jayne, and Karen all hate B.ESP uncle Nicky Slater even though he was Karen’s partner:

‘People think if you’re doing that ­[having ­sleepovers]: “Well, there must be more to it than that.” But there doesn’t have to be. We [he, Karen and Jayne] have skated together since we were all 16. I’ve known her as long as I’ve known Jayne. When we competed in the British ­Championships, it was her and Nicky…’

He’s referring to Nicky Slater, the judge who has just been dropped from Dancing On Ice and whose relationship with Karen is, well… let’s say frosty. ‘He was an acquired taste,’ says Chris. ‘People were divided. You like or you don’t like his style.’ Do you? ‘We’ve known him a long time,’ he says diplomatically. So … back to this sleepover.

‘There can be friendships as well,’ 52-year-old Chris insists. ‘Karen will stay with Jayne, too.’ (x)

I also found some things about how Jayne and Chris described their relationship over the years. They didn’t skate together between 1998 (when they stopped competing professionally) and 2006 (the first time they skated together again because of Dancing on Ice) and Chris was depressed when they first stopped skating together, but his relationship with Jayne “lasted longer than any of his marriages”:

He pauses, trying hard to find the right words to explain this thing with Jayne. ‘It’s unique,’ he says. ‘We’re not brother and sister. We’re not husband and wife. But we formed our own friendship that required much more trust than any ­relationship. We’ve been together longer than both my marriages lasted.’

In the early Nineties, Chris was married briefly to French-Canadian skater ­Isabelle Duchesnay, who was famously jealous of Jayne, referring to her as the ‘other woman’ in their marriage. Patting Jayne on the leg, Chris says now: ‘This is the one marriage that lasted.’

So, how did he cope with the eight-year separation following their retirement from professional skating in 1998?

Chris says: ‘It was huge. We did our last performance together in Vancouver, but didn’t tell anyone it was our last performance. Only we knew. I came back to England, packed up and went to the U.S. with my then wife, Jill, because we both thought there would be more opportunities for us there.

‘So, I left the country, our partnership had finished and dissolved. I’d moved into a new house and I hadn’t got a job. All of that was in the space of two weeks. I went through a big withdrawal.

‘I had a lot of depression for six months. It’s weird. I thought I was ready for it. I’d psyched myself up and suddenly everything you knew, everything you were, was gone — changed. For six months, I was scratching my head wondering: “What’s life about?” Suddenly there was no routine. No time you had to get up in the morning.’

Jayne sits nodding as she listens to Chris. ‘I remember looking forward to it,’ she says. ‘I didn’t have to get up early. I didn’t have to get up at a certain time. But the loss of routine was tough. We chatted on the phone pretty much every day. Then Dancing On Ice came up. For me, the first performance we did on the first series was frightening. (x)

There’s also this quote from 1995 about how they were upset they kept being asked about a documentary clip filmed between 1994 Euros and 1994 Olympics where Chris “gleefully” makes Jayne cry in practice, but at least people stopped asking if they were in love because of it:

Their aura of invincibility had therefore been shattered, and within a few weeks their much-written-about "love affair on ice" was also dented by a television documentary which gleefully showed Dean reducing his partner to tears during practice.

"At least it stopped people asking us if we have been in love for the past 10 years," Torvill said. "It was a bit mean of the director to do this. We had this nice image, and he clearly wanted to ruin it by making out we were at each other's throats every day."

The "nasty and ruthless" Dean cuts in. "Most of the aggressiveness shown in the film took place in between the Europeans and the Olympics, when the pressure was on, and our moods, because we had seen the writing on the wall, were not good. The truth is that we've been doing this for 20 years, and there's no way either Jayne or I could have stood it for so long if I'd always carried on like that. People still approach me and say that I was mean to Jayne, but it's normally tongue in cheek. At least it showed the reality of what we do to the public." (x)

[summertime-children]

WIP Challenge

Tagged by @kikithedeceiver​ (thanks~)

Tagging: @starspatter​, @cookiehoodie​ and Meli if she ever sees this bc I want a snippet of all her unwritten knkd fics (?) (and if any writer out there needs a nudge to share their WIPs, feel tagged!)

Challenge: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.

I’ll do what what Kiki did and post titles of my WIPs with comments and short fragments of them? I’ll share here only my kagepro WIPs (so basically kidokano/Kano ones lol). A little warning before we start: it’s going to be very long lol bc I can’t finish fics to save a live and I have... lots of ideas, plus I never get to talk about them >.> Also they’re going to be getting gradually worse bc I’ll go from newest to ancient-est. (Full disclosure tho, those aren’t raw quotes from my WIPs bc some had so visible grammar errors, I just had to fix them + I always put notes in my works, like every second word lol) Here we go.

Listen

Comment: This is the freshiest one, I was writing bits of it merely the day before, and because of that I still naively believe I will finish and post it soon, so I won’t say anything more about it.

”I want you to understand. You… need to know there’s so much to love about you!”

“Haha like what?” he laughed with bitter sounding laugh, something that must had slipped as it was followed by a face she had occasion to see only a few times- a face of regret. Regret of choosing wrong words, wrong mask to put on or forgetting to put her at all.

Different ways to say it

Comment: Just a short fluff where Kano’s snarky bottomness is showing lol

“You should’ve asked ‘Can you kiss me?’ instead.”

Kano is dumbfounded for a few seconds before he snorts.

“Right.” he begins with a playful grin “Let me fix that. Can you, Kido Tsubomi, the fierce leader of Mekakushi Dan, my girlfriend, my sun, my stars, the love of my life, the love of my thousands other lives, do me an absolute honor and light up my da-“

He didn’t even manage to finish before he felt the pair of soft lips landed on his, catching his words.

New chapter

Comment: Won’t say much about it because it’s supposed to be a gift for certain someone~ But here’s a little sneak peek 👀

That was weird. They never really talked about having any pets. They talked about having kids (as much as stating that they want to make a family together during several separate occasions counts), but the topic of having pets was never brought up and in a timespan of living together and even moreso of living alone together, they already had plenty of opportunities to get one. And yet Kano always knew that when Kido pictured their future family together there was also present a small ball of fur waving its tail and he could see it in her eyes at that moment more visibly than ever.

GrimReaper!Kido x Vampire!Kano

Comment: I was very disappointed with the knkd fanwork of that one Halloween art, so I decided to write something that would satisfy me (with no success so far rip).

The black figure that merged with the ubiquitous dark hanged up the big scythe they were holding on the wall, among the collection of similar but different in sizes scythes, proceeded to take off their shoes (but then put them quickly back on, changing their mind as soon as their feet met with the concrete) and pulled off the black hood of their cloak to reveal the long green hair, something that finally stood out in the darkness, before walking deeper into the room.

I can’t wait to fall in love with you

Comment: Inspired by well, that one sentence that is in the title and lowkey (?) by Meli’s lovely fic~ It’s the kind of fic that I myself call “(not) soulmates au”. It revolves around the idea that after so many timelines of falling in love with each other, they’re just bound to fall in love again... Even when they don’t remember their past lives...

“Oh man, I can’t wait to fall in love with you.” Kido turned her gaze towards the blond lying next to her on the couch. Her widened from being taken aback by his statement eyes met his golden, cat-like ones, tinted with the strange warm spark that she could feel she had yearn for a very long time. It lasted only a second though because soon her brows furrowed and her gaze dropped from those well-too-familiar (given the circumstances) eyes to her hands.

Two cats

Comment: Set in the sort of the au where they never died? On one winter day Kano takes stray cat to his house to take care of. It’s solely Kano fic btw.

Forgetting for a moment about his own advice (why he should had kept repeating it in his head) he looked over his shoulder to see if his stalker was still there and in that moment their gazes lock. “Crap.” He couldn’t help but think ‘curiosity killed the cat’ as a pair of similar eyes to his stared back at him.

hbd kido

Comment: Product of my procrastination. (As you may tell, I have a problem with it). One year I was slightly~ more productive and was kinda disappointed that I didn’t manage to write Christmas fic. So then I thought that I could save some time and write this fic where Kido has joint Birthday-NewYear party with Christmas decorations still lying around (including mistletoe *cough cough*) just in time for KidoKano Day killing not two, but even four birds with one stone. It’s sort of high school au btw.

“Hi.” The boy tried again. His face was embellished with wide grin and slightly flashed cheeks and in his hand she noticed a can of beer. Oh no.

“Hi, Kano.” She said with disinclination. It wasn’t like she didn’t like the guy. Even more, in the normal situation, like average day in the school, she would find a conversation with him a nice or refreshing thing. He was one of a few people that actually knew about her existence and despite her previous prejudice he turned out to be a pretty nice guy.

Christmas Event

Comment: I’m not sure what Christmas event that was for lol.

For Kano it was this time of a year when his Mother would stay home the whole day instead of going to work and she would be more kind to him. Though he wouldn’t call it exactly this way (it’s not like he felt she wasn’t kind to him normally after all), but she was definitely more forgiving.

Affectionate meme Requests

Comment: Requested for the writing meme in the year 2016. Keeps it as a reminder of how big loser I am (?) (just what this post manages to do so far lol) The prompt was “love bite” >.>

From her spot she couldn’t see him quite clear, due to the still turned off lights, so it was only up to her imagination to decide whether he recollected his mask or not. Maybe it was the second after all, because excluding two golden eyes that shone at her there were two bright spots that stood out in the dark, both marked on his skin.

M!KidoKano

Comment: It was supposed to be male!Kido x Kano fic and yeah... I’m emberassed about it tbh. Like, by the fact I wanted to write it itself. Idk now I find it rather weird to genderbend only one person from the pairing, especially in the fic and for that reason I won’t share fragment from it. Sadly it’s one of my better written pieces lol and going back to it I see I made male!Kido no differnt from the regular Kido... which makes it a good genderbend I guess, but also completely unnecessary.

Angsty Kano fic

Comment: I have no idea lol There’s almost nothing written there.

Even Greater Fear

Comment: Despite what title may suggest it’s more fluffy than angsty. KanoKido family fluff where Kano gets anxious about how happy he is now and that he might someday lose it too. Featuring my knkd fankids, Naoki and Reika.   

“Mom, dad is sad!” announced Reika with reproach. This she wasn’t expecting.

“What?” Tsubomi asked out of surprise and was followed by a low groan coming from behind the couch that could belong only to her beloved husband.  

“No, I’m not.”  She watched how the expressions of her children slowly changed from the ones of concern to the ones of disappointment and disgust.

“And he’s denying it.”

Inverted

Comment: Silly engagement scenario. If I ever finish that, it'll be my comedic genius’ peak I swear (?)  

He was clearly getting more nervous, the longer the searching wasn’t bringing any results. He let go of Kido’s hand and got his another one to help him search for whatever was supposed to be in that pocket. However, after a while his movements completely stopped and with some kind of dread in the eyes he whispered under his breath, “It’s gone.”

Time

Comment: Angsty setomary fic I wanted to write for SetoMary Spring (anyone remember that?) 

When she moved out to her new family the first thing she noticed was that time has significantly slowed down. Oddly, somehow it did accelerate at the same time. It was hard to explain and she herself couldn’t understand the feeling nor did she give it much consideration, but for the first period of living in that new world, new pace of that very activity- living- has struck her.

One in a million

Comment: An actual soulmates au (with the variation of the red thread concept). It’s way too ambitious for me lol (starting with the fact that it’s supposed to be multi-chapter story). I won’t share a fragment of it bc not much’s written and bc tbh there would be spoilers, in case I ever do post it. I could write about the concept in a seperate post though because I did a lot of world-building for it. (A lot for me, ok?)

Clear and present

Comment: Ghost AU. Baby Kano hides one time in the abandoned, partly burned mantion and that’s where he meets the ghost of (scary) green-haired teenage girl he befriends. Somehow got inspired by that anthology comic? Also I would listen to this song while attempting to write it lol. Not much was written though.

What I didn’t

Comment: This one’s rare. My only attempt at writing harutaka fanfic. (Funnily enough last safe was on kidokano day?... many years ago.)  In the manga Takane was pretty excited to give Haruka a present for his birthday, but he had an attack and was hospitalized so she didn’t and it wasn’t said (?) if she ever gave it to him later. So my idea for this fic was that she didn’t and how she was now trying to give it to him after three years. Took huge inspiration from this song: {x}

She didn’t have to wait long until there were heard slow, but at the same time hurried footsteps behind the door and soon it was followed by the sound of doors being unlocked. The doors before her opened revealing the light-brown-haired boy wearing excited smile and slightly oversized green sweater with embroidered reindeer. And one of these was just the warmest thing in this cold winter world.

Sneeze like a kitten

Comment: Inspired by one line from Gravity Falls lol It was just another thing I wanted to add to list of similarities between Kano and cats and I’m sure it would bring Kido joy too ;3 But as much as I still find this idea cute it is so awkwardly written lol. I kinda appreciate that it’s from Rin’s POV and that I tried using kinda fancier English for that reason (as fancy as I knew back then lol), but I guess first person fics will always sound weird. It’s set in a different route I guess where they sort of met before the orphanage.

Soon I noticed all her glances seemed to be directed at small boy with blond hair sitting alone on the bench, a little away from the playground. At first I was fairly surprised, not understanding why this particular boy had become her spot of interest, but giving more attentive look at the boy made me instantly realize reasons of her intent glances.

Connection

Comment: I have almost nothing written there and I barely remember it, but from what I can see it must be my original idea for the “formal event” prompt from the very first kanokido week. I... think it was sort of an au where they never died and they met at some sort of fancy party held by Kido’s parents where Kano was a waiter.

Oof that’s all (I mean all from the folder on my pc, but I won’t be getting into that). For a fair portion of it, I gotta objectively say there’s absolutely zero chance of me ever finishing them, but then (aside from the freshest ones that I still have on my mind) revisiting all those WIPs made me really want to revive some of them owo (some I would have to completely re-write tho OTL)

[thewritingpossum]

Historical fiction writers and historians like to talk about the whole "Edward abandoned pregnant Isabella to save Piers Gaveston" thing (which is entirely fake btw) but I think we should focus more on that One Time In Tynemouth when Isabella faced the possibility of an attack by the Scots because, while it's actually an event with very little historical significance, I think it had a tremendous impact on the people directly involved in it, as it seems to have been a major trigger in the deterioration of Edward and Isabella's relationship, which she fully blamed on Hugh le Despenser but it also appears to be one of the rare instance where Hugh was genuinely not trying to fuck her over in any shape or form.

In October 1322, Edward was dealing with the aftermath of yet another failed Scottish campaign, which included Robert Bruce invading back England. Bruce quickly marched toward where the King was at the moment, wreaking havoc as one generally do during a punishing invasion and, by mid-October, Edward was forced to flee, abandoning a whole bunch of his material possessions behind him.

The situation would have already been humiliating enough but it sparked another problem: at the moment, Isabella had been residing at Tynemouth, a little less than a hundred miles away from her husband. While there's no clear indication that Bruce was planning to walk toward this direction or had any plan to take the queen hostage, it's undeniable that Isabella herself believed it and was terrified.

It's always a bit sketchy to try and gage the feelings of people who have been dead for hundreds of years (if anything, it's also risky to try and assume the feelings of living people too so...) but in this particular case, I really do think we may reasonably argue that it was one of the most traumatic event in her life and she entirely blamed Hugh le Despenser for it, accusing him of 'falsely and treacherously counselling the king to leave my lady the queen in peril of her person' at Tynemouth.", which is straight up factually incorrect.

I won't try to debate whether or not she was in actual physical danger, partially because I don't know enough about Robert de Bruce and his military tactics to gage whether or not he may have been interested in taking her hostage (but it honestly feels unlikely, at least in the circumstances...) but we know for a fact that even if Hugh actually did advised Edward to let his wife to rot alone at Tynemouth, that's not what Edward actually did.

We still have a high number of letters showing Edward's concern for his wife and he quickly charged some of his most trusted men with the task to go safely fetch the queen. The problem here is that his most trusted men obviously included some of Hugh's subordinates. Isabella reacted to the situation just as well as you may imagine: she categorically refused to leave with Hugh's men, not under any circumstances whatsoever. I don't think her fear was entirely irrational: she had already gone on her knees to beg for Hugh's banishment and I do think she may have been afraid of him using this occasion to get his revenge.

Now, I'm still not sure if Hugh ever actually intended to get rid of the queen (my opinion on that changes all the time tbh) but even if he did, I'm entirely sure he was not planning to do so here. First, there's the fact that even if some of his men were present, he wasn't there to command them and Isabella had no reason to distrust the actual commander present. Most importantly, Hugh's own wife Eleanor, who had been a member of the queen's household pretty much since she had set foot in England was also present. Hugh was a reckless man who cared very little about who he had to destroy to reach his goals but he appears to have sincerely care for his close family and it's highly improbable that he would have voluntarily put her in a harm way, even to get back at the queen, especially since she was most likely pregnant too at the moment.

The situation must have been incredibly messy. Both Isabella and Eleanor were heavily pregnant (or Eleanor’s case, may have just given birth) and their relationship, that had been a stable and friendly one for years, since they were both little more than children, had probably been deteriorating for some time due to their husbands’ affair. Eleanor probably desperately wanted to escape with her husband's men and Isabella's clear and definite refusal probably felt like a knee kick in the gums.

The fact that two of Isabella's ladies died as a direct consequence of their escape, one of them who was also pregnant and passed away shortly after prematurely giving birth was probably even more traumatic for both of them, as was the fact that the third man send by Edward to rescue the queen was actually caught by the Scots and taken hostage, which had been Isabella’s worst fear since the very beginning

Even if all technically ended well (except for those two poor ladies-in-waiting, obviously) and even if most contemporary chroniclers appear to have found the whole event fairly insignificant in the grand scheme of things, it’s pretty clear that it worsened the deterioration of marriage of Edward and Isabella, if it didn’t kickstarted it; before 1322, Edward and Isabella spent a lot of time together, even when it was not strictly necessary and we have a profusion of letters from one to the other when they were separated.

In 1322-1323, the time they spent together had shrunk to next to nothing and there's few letters remaining to indicate that they keep contact when they were away from each other. In fact, there's times during those two years when Edward himself was pitifully vague about the exact whereabouts of his wife, which lead me to believe that he had either temporarily casted her away from court or that she herself had decided to stay away from him (probably a mix of the two) and that he was trying to save face.

Now, what I find the more interesting is that I can easily understand the point of view of every person implicated in this situation. Isabella must have felt like her husband had abandoned her and only 'rescued' her by sending her her worst enemy's delegates. The fact that her contemporaries seems to have seen the situation as a non-issue and that even Hugh's worst detractors didn't blame him for anything, for once (the pope himself actually commended him for the way his men had acted...) must have been even more enraging for her.

Eleanor probably felt like her queen and friend had not only gravely offended her husband (and by extension her family and herself) once again but also put them all in danger for no logical reason. Edward was clearly worried for his wife at first but her refusal to cooperate was probably mind-boggling to him at first and then insulting, especially when it become obvious that she was not planning to get over it.

As for Hugh...If there's one thing we know about Hugh's personality, it's that he was very good at making himself the victim in even the situations where he was the most blatantly at fault. Now, considering that he already disliked Isabella before the whole thing, can you imagine how he saw it and what he had to tell Edward about it? It must have been something along the lines of:  "Your wife essentially spat in your face by refusing the help you sent her and claiming you had done nothing useful, she offended me once again and still claimed it was somehow my fault and she also endangered my wife and unborn child, what kind of unnatural, hateful woman would behave in such a way toward her king and husband? How can you take that?" Fuck, he may even have truly believed that.

Now I'm not gonna say it's the one thing that really determined the rest of their relationship (there was already A Lot going on long before that and there was much more to come for all of them) but I do think it was a pretty major element of how things managed to go so bad so fast and I also find it pretty telling that Isabella would later accuse Hugh of forcing her husband to abandon her to mortal danger even if absolutely no one else seems that it was what happened when it actually happened...

[gujoonim]

The Lost Memories Part 11

“I wake up next to Jungkook, the one that I hated wholeheartedly and let’s not forget that he claims that he’s my husband”

◇ genre : angst & romance ◇ summary : After being a while seperated from each other, you decided to go on with a new plan that might helped you in building a strong relationship with him ◇ words : 4.8k ◇ author’s note : I can felt the sadness about the thought of there is only a few chapter left before the ending😭😢 Btw, thanks for supporting and reading my fics, love xoxo

《previous | next》

The voices of people in the hospital occupies the area, loud enough to distract one’s thought yet Jungkook’s mind is louder than those voices as he managed to overcome it. The clock is tickling from seconds to minutes then moves to hours, time flies so fast and its been a while since he sit there waiting for the one that he is being waiting for.

Yet, he felt the time moves slow and slower as it passes and it makes him becomes more eager to lay his eyes on the familiar figure that he is keen to see for. Those feelings restraining himself from being patient and calm. Who else can calm him of herself when it’s been almost a months since he was being separated from you due to the order of the doctor who is in charges of you, to isolate you from the outside world and society in a ward so they can observes you in detail while figuring out the problem and treating your condition to a better one.

At first, he opposed those suggestion that will keep you away from him and the though of not be able to see you or even to take care of you when you are in this kind of condition, hurts and aches his heart the most. But as being pleaded and begged by your mother, Rose and also Jin, he gave up and followed what others had asked him to do.

He was reluctant but for the sake of you, he willing to do so.

His eyes quickly glued on the door as his ears catches the creaking sounds of the door being opened. The rapid beat of his heart, thumping in an unusual pace followed with eagerness to meet you spread to all over his body and as his sight was greeted by the familiar figure, in a blink off eyes, he standing up straightly while gazing at you.

Your petite body came out from the ward and he observed you, looking for any changes. And as he expected, there are a lot of changes, a significant one. The last time he saw you, you lost a couple pounds of your weight and it makes you looked thinner than usual. The lifeless look on your face accompanied by the eyebags that you had under your eyes, showed that you are very sick last time.

Yet at this current time, you looked a lot better compared to before. He can guess right away that you are gaining weight by just looking at your cheeks that looks chubbier and the dissapperance of your sharp jawline. Your face looks so alive as your cheeks and the tip of your nose flushed in the color of rosy pink, perhaps your heart pumping a lot of blood to that area. Your scarlet lips are back again and it does not look pale anymore. This new sight of you makes him felt so grateful and thankful to God because you looks well and healthier now.

His colleagues that treated you had already informed him about the significant improvement of your condition. After conducting several tests and treatment that is also helped by Jin, your health is getting better and well as the day passes so that’s why you are now allowed to discharge and go back to your home.

A frown seen on his face as his brow twitching to the middlle, confused over the doubt feeling that he had om you. He began to think that the person that standing across of him, is Yujin instead of you. But then something crossed his mind, banshing all the feelings from himself.

“If you just follow where your hearts lead to, you will know which one is who.”

Jin’s word makes him realized and awares about where is his heart leading him to. It leads towards you and it’s always been you.

“Y/n” He muttered as a thankful smile placed on his lips as he sees your genuine smile and the cheerful looks is splattering on your face while you are striding towards him.

*

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to my love, Jungkookie

Happry birthday to you.

The sudden singing from you, who burst into the room without even knocking, giving a sign for him to know that you are entering the room in any moment, does makes him startled when you surprised him not only with your presence there but also with a hamburger cake with two candle lit up on it, which you are currently holding now while singing the birthday song.

Confusion began to fill up his brain, seeking the archive of his brain about his birthday fate which supposedly to be on two weeks from now. He knew that he is not deaf yet since he clearly heard you sang those birthday song to him and even mentioning his name. So what is the event that you are celebrating now?

You seen the questioning and confused look on him so that you fasten your pace towards him. His gaze fell from your face towards the stacks of book that you might stumbles into and resulting you to fell down so he is striding towards you to prevent that occasion from happened.

When you felt the firm grips around your wrist, you immediately stopped in the tracks while throwing him a warm smile before you proceed to explain him about your unexpected celebration.

“I know your birthday is around two weeks from now but hear me out.” You paused momentarily, asking him a response to continue your explanation and when your eyes catches his eyebrows arching upwards, the replies that you expected to get from him, you continue your talk.

“But what I want to tell and give you after this suits with the things that I did to you.” You trailed off as your gaze fell on the hamburger cake that you are holding now, gathering all the courage that you needed in order to tell him what you have been thinking since you being isolated.

You lifted up your head, gazing lovingly into his eyes, hoping that he know you are sincerely telling him all of this things. Hoping that he know that it is you right now, who are talking to him instead of Yujin.

“Thank you so much for always being with me and believing in me when everyone else thought of me being a crazy woman. Thank you for being so supportive and never give up on me even though I almost give up on myself but you makes me felt stronger whenever you are by my side. You are my soul, my everything. Thank you for existing in this world.”

Jungkook tries very hard from shedding tears in his eyes. For the first time, your words struck his heart like a lightning. The sincerity that contain in your words, brushing off all the pain and hurt feelings from his heart as it being replaces by sparks of contented and blissful. His stares turned into a loving gaze, gazing into your eyes and met with a flaming burning fire with the determination in it, showing that you really mean every words that you uttered.

A genuine smile plastered on your lips as a sigh of relief escaped from your mouth after you finally managed to confess out the current feelings of you about him. You bit your lower lips as you initiating the first moves to suggest him something that might lead to the happiness of both of your life after this and in the future.

“I wanted to stop trying myself to remember the lost memories. I know there’s a lot of sweet and happy memories between on us that I have forgotten but I think it is better for me to stop pushing myself.” He is frowning at your words. Does it mean you want to forget all the things between him and you? His mind full with assumption that might be true or not but when he saw that you still got something to tell, he decided to hear it first before making any weird assumption.

“So instead of retrieving the lost memories, why not we create the new memorable and fond memories together?” Your brilliant ideas lighten up his face as his smile began to shine from his lips, responding to your suggestion. His body reacted to you by giving him a command to throw his arms around your waist and engulfed you into hug but it is stopped your sudden yells.

“NO! Blow the candles first and wish want you want for.” Your yelling does shocked him but after he knew your main intention, he began to clasp his palm to together, a usual motion for one who want to wish before blowing the candle but before he could even do so, he stopped when his eyes catches the strange look and texture of the cake.

“Is it a real hamburger?” He asked questioningly, looking at you who keep smiling for the past few minutes.

You nodded, slightly shoving the hamburger towards him. “I know you likes hamburger more than a cake.”

Your replies makes him to chuckle and continues back to what he stopped for. After a several seconds, shutting his eyes and muttering his wishes in a soft voices, he blows the candle till the lights is slowly extinguishes. When he opened his eyelid and greeted by the slightly blurry sight due to him firmly closing his eyes, you shoves the hamburger for him to hold before you went away from there.

He put the hamburger aside before stepped away from there to look for you and before he even can do that, you already arrived in front of him while holding two bags tightly in your grasped and once again shoving those bags to him.

He took the bags, peeking his eyes inside the bag and the sight of brand new model Canon camera that he really wanted since it is already out for the past weeks and a pair of black Timberland shoe. He quickly lifted up his head, looking at you surprisingly. “Those are you gifts and there’s one more!”

His eyes travelled from your face to your hands that is pulling out an envelope before slapping it to the air while pressing your lips to a thin line, curling a smirk.

*

“When do you have time to plan this?” Jungkook asked to you, tilting his head looking at you who seems so immersed with the current view in the airport.

“During the time when I was isolated and also I asked Jin for his help to book the tickets. So yeah.” You simply replied, shifting your head to face him as you are answering his question before averting your sight back to the surrounding.

A scoff left his lips, unbelieved of what you managed to do. Just now, you and him together in the house celebrating his early birthday till you told him about leaving the house a few hours after the celebration. He just followed your orders and never thought that you and him will be boarding to Jeju Island once again. He kept asking you where to go along the way to the airport and only being answered by you when both of you are only a miles from the airport.

He was shocked at your unexpected moves as he kept whining about his clothes, his work and so on and only being shut by your statement that you had already prepared all the things that he need and also you had informed his colleagues about his absence for several days and they seems okay with that. Jungkook only keep calm after you assured him and decided to go on with your sudden trip to Jeju.

Yet, he still doesn’t know why you want to go to Jeju again? Is it for vacation? Or it might be something else. He can’t keep himself from wondering about your actual motive to go to Jeju so he blurted out his question, gaining your attention back towards him.

“Why we have to go to Jeju? What’s for?” Your eyes travelled back to him, staring him for a while before answering his question.

“I want to have a real honeymoon trip with you. Last time we were there, I’m not sure and doubting my feelings towards you but now I’m definitely sure about my feelings towards you. It is not like before confusing mixed with hatred but now it is love. I know that I love you, Jeon Jungkook so that’s why I want to experience the honeymoon trip like other married couple.”

You senses that both of you are now staring at each other without even blinking at once to stop the staring contest and before it could turned to something else here and it seems this place is a public one, you decided to divert away your eyes from his view. You acted like nothing is wrong while pulling out two pairs of sunglasses and you gives on to him before you put the other one on yours.

“Let’s go to Jeju!” You shouted while lifting up your left arms upwards, pointing your index finger to the air. That sight of you reminded him so much of you before all this things happened. It reminds him of the usual you.

*

Being a detailed person you are, you had already planned all the activities that you and Jungkook will do throughout this trip and all the activities you planned are the things that Jungkook likes to do. And the moat important things is you planned this trip without having any help from tour guide because you don’t want the same things happened to your last trip and you also don’t want to see Jungkook’s arms linking with another girl than you.

So the first activity is hiking on Halla Mountain. Actually, you are not fancy of this type of activities cause it requires too much energy to be used but since Jungkook likes it so you decided to just follow with the flow. Besides, it is not bad at all. And Jungkook being an adventurous and passionate guy he is, he surely will loves this activities as well as he can capture those splendid scenery along the way to the summit, perhaps if your legs can withstand the throbbing pain.

“Y/n! Look at my masterpiece!” He shoved you his camera, the one that you gave to him as a gift, showing all the pictures that he snapped along the way. While gasping for the fresh air, you leaning your body towards him to view his masterpiece and the results seems right as what he is being told you. A smile curled on your lips as you continuously patted his shoulder to congratulate him for being such a professional photographer even though he never attended any photography classes.

You get back to your actual position before groping your mineral bottle from the bag packs towards you. You lifted up your chin upwards at the right angle, leaning the brim of the bottle to your lips before drinking the mineral water. The sudden sounds of camera snapping a picture came from your side which makes you to stop drinking and quickly shifted your head to look at Jungkook, who is smiling sheepishly staring at the picture of you that he snapped just now.

“Give me that camera!” You tried to snatch away the camera from his grip but you failed as he started to run away from you while laughing out loud, attracting other tourist there to look at him. You gritted your teeth while facepalming your face, feeling embarrassed over your husband’s childish behaviours.

“DELETE THAT PHOTO JEON JUNGKOOK!”

The hiking trip did not take a lot of times as you and Jungkook decided to stop half way of the track because you are too exhausted to continue. He wished that he can continue to the summit but seeing your current condition and you who seems did not have enough air to breath, he decided to stop and followed you back to the entrance.

Both of you are too exhausted and tired to do any activity on the first night so it just after the shower, you and him take a dinner before sleep, gaining energy to be used for tomorrow that might required you and him to go to many places.

You know he loves art from the elementary school till now you still know he had a special things whenever it comes about arts. So that’s why you decided the next activity is visiting an arts and craft workshop where both of you are required to paint the scenery that located behind the workshop. And along the times you and him painting, the owner of the workshop never stopped praising your husband stating that never he had a visitor that can draw and paints well as him.

It does makes you envied of him because the owner seems ignored your presence there as he is too immersed with Jungkook and his painting. As being expected, Jungkook’s painting is more lively and beautiful compared to you which looked like a trash beside his painting. You have to admit that he draw wells but it’s been a while since you left arts so you are not used to paint again.

Then, one of the painter in the workshop draws a portrait of you and Jungkook together as a souvenir for visiting their workshop. It is not common for them drawing a portrait for free but when Jungkook mentioned about your honeymoon trip so they willing to give it for free.

“This portrait of us looks so nice!” You complimented as your eyes can’t keep away from staring at the portrait. Jungkook only let out a soft chuckles and nodded his head as a reply.

“As the portrait of us engraved on this canvas, the beautiful moment of us being here will also engraved deeply on my mind and I won’t ever forget about it.” His words makes you to shift your entire body just to look at him before throwing him a genuine smile.

During the night time, you decided to pay a visit at the local karaoke box since you know Jungkook really loves to sing but due to his works, he had no chances to enjoy one of his hobby.

Most of the times, it was him that keep singing the song and you joined him whenever he played the duet song yet as being mentioned before, most of the times he will sing the song alone and most of the song that he sang was IU’s one. You observed him who is singing with his soul from the sofa behind his back, grinning at his body that successively swayed from one side to another side. And you also learned that IU is one of his favorited artist besides BigBang.

After an hours of singing, he throw his body on the sofa next to you while leaning his head on the top of the sofa against the wall. You saw his chest heaving upwards and downwards, breathing the air as he is already contributed a lot of air from his body to the surrounding while singing.

You hit his thighs which makes him to turn and face you. “You sings very well! Instead of being a doctor, you can choose whether to be a painter or a singer cause you can do well in every field that you are involving.”

Your compliments turned to a suggestion for him to choose a new path for his life if he can turn back the time. He looked into your eyes and you can see the sparks of content and loves in his big doe eyes.

“Instead all of that, I choose to be with you.”

The next trip is going to the Innisfree Jeju House and this trip is more towards you as you are fancy about skincare and also you loves the product came from there. This time, both of you and Jungkook are doing your own soap as being demo and based on the instruction.

After a few hours of making your own soap, you finally finished and got the soap as the souvenir before both of you wandering there looking for something to buy. Jungkook who is scrolling his camera, waiting for you at the entrance of the place as you suddenly pokes his shoulder, making him to jolt backwards before turning his entire body to face you.

You pouted your lips at the thought of you and him still does not have any picture together so that is when your eyes wildly wandering around looking for someone to be your victim.

“Hey miss!” You called, striding away towards her, leaving Jungkook dumbfounded looking at you who is asking the younger girl for help. When the girl agrees to help you, you quickly run towards Jungkook before linking your arms around his.

“What are you doing?” He asked in confusion, tilting his head, looking at you who seems uninterested of his question.

You replied simply. “Get ready to take a picture with you. Smile!” You curled a sweet yet genuine smile, looking into the lenses of the camera and followed by Jungkook who finally understand of what you are trying to do now.

As the girl counting, one, two and before her lips began to pronounced the first alphabet of words’ three, you quickly grabbed Jungkook’s chin to face you before tiptoeing yourself so you can reached his height and pulled his chin to wards you and peck a kiss on his lips.

“Three!” The moment managed to be capture by the girl using Jungkook’s camera.

The second last day being in Jeju are not busier compared to other day as you decided to stay at the house that you are renting to stay for this trip. Instead of booking the hotel, you preferred your honeymoon trip with Jungkook is more comfortable and casual as if its like you and him lives there cause by renting a house, you can do a lot of things that can’t be done in the hotel.

So today you entangling yourself to Jungkook while playing some games together, accompanied him so he does not felt so lonely playing the games alone and since you also loves playing video games so it is not a big deal for you to keep playing over and over again.

While playing the games, you eyes keen glancing at the clock and you suddenly stopped playing when your brain finally giving out the information about the current times. It is already half past six before standing up from your position and exclaiming something to Jungkook who seems surprised of you suddenly stopped the games from playing. “Where are you going, love?”

“I’m going to the toilet. Just keep on playing without me, Jungkook.” He hummed as a response, diverting his view back to the television, changing the setting of the games from two players to one player.

The loud scream followed by the sounds of the music announcing the result of the games. Jungkook glances at the clock and it’s already an hour and half since you left to the toilet. He put the joystick aside as he started to wandering himself in the house looking for you.

When he finally aware that you are no longer in the house, the feelings of panic began to crept under his skin. He tried to brush off all the negatives thought playing on his mind right now so that why he quickly run into the room, changing to a proper outfit and wearing the jacket to prevent himself from the coldness of the night’s air.

As he walked out from the house, quickly locked the door before fastening his pace away from there, looking for any familiar figure that would catches his eyes instantly. As the time passes, he is going further away from the house towards the seaside located a several metres away from the house. He wrapped his arms around his body as the breeze of the sea slapping his cheeks, making the shivers flowing down to his spine due to the cold weather.

Then, his eyes catches the brightening light came from one side of the seashore. It does look suspicious but somehow he is eager to find out whether you are being there or not. So he decided to take a look and walked away if you are not there.

At first he fasten his pace and slowly his pace become slower when he finally see the sight of a small area of outdoor wedding aisle. He should go away from there actually but somehow that venue attracts him by the similarities of the venue to his wedding venue with yours. He stopped his tracks on the altar, observing every little detail of the place and something does crossed his mind.

This place does not looked familiar as his wedding venue yet this one looked exactly the same as his and somehow he thought about him being in the place where both of you and him get married.

The sudden music playing across the altar, making him to swiftly turned his entire body to look for someone who played the song and only greeted by a familiar figure wearing a wedding dress, walking slowly along the aisle towards him. As his eyes travelled on the familiar face, he know it was you.

You looked so beautiful compared to what he remembered you looks like on the day of your wedding. You looks so different from what he remembered. That innocent yet lively looks of you is not like what he remembered even thought you still wearing the same dresses, same makeup style and also the hair style. Somehow, you looks so different, you looks so yourself and what he had been expected on the day of your wedding yet his expectation crushed when he saw your looks on that day.

“What you are doing, Y/n?” He asked you in a soft yet audible voice as you finally reached at the altar as he stretched out his arms and entwining his fingers to your before pulling you closer to him.

The longing looks and the gleam of tears can be seen in your eyes as you gazing into his. “I never had any memories of us getting married and somehow I’m afraid that it wasn’t the real me at that time.”

You trailed off, biting your lower lips to prevent yourself from sobbing. “But this time, I want to do a proper wedding ceremony and me, myself aware of what I’m doing now. I want to get married with you once again as the stars, the moon, the sky, the sea, the land, the air become the witnesses of our wedding.”

The looks that plastered on your face does makes his heart throbbing in pain and happiness. He pressed his lips into a thin line before curling it into a genuine smile. You grasped both of his hands with yours, as he nodded giving you a sign to continue this ceremony.

“I, Jeon Jungkook, take you, Y/n, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.”

“I, Y/n, take you, Jeon Jungkook, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in a good and bad times, in sickness and in health. I will loves and honour you all the days of my life.”

Both of you staring lovingly into each other eyes, while holding back your tears even though both of you can even seen that the tears are threatening to fell down from the eyes, down to the cheeks in any moment from now.

Jungkook began to lean closer to you, as he tilted his head to the right angle where he can planted his lips on yours while you slowly pressing your eyes against each other and also leaning towards him before you felt a wet and moisture lips on your lips as finally his lips melts to your.

His eyes that trying so hard to hold back the tears finally failed to do so as the tears slowly fell down when his lips touches yours and he is the first one that cries and not you.

Tonight is the happiest and delighted moment for both of you since it’s been a while both of you never felt this kind of happiness that you and him really deserves it.

[freespeechfandom-blog]

Cassie, marks and marriage

Since the topic came up, I might as well write a separate post about all the long mark stuff that wouldn’t fit very well into a series of reblogs. Tl;dr version: C didn’t mind the marks, M didn’t intend to mark her, the marks had positive effects for C, and both of them use the marks in ambiguous ways to cherry-pick which interpretations they are going with, and even so vamp marriage probably wouldn’t be about lovey-dovey matrimony anyway. Longer version below, still, see highlights for a condensed summary.

- Let’s start with the way the marks were made. M, spasming on a bed in geis-induced desire, bit C. C didn’t expect it, but also didn’t fight it, and when she did protest, he stopped. Fast forward, she is now marked, something that is immediately visible to all vamps (will come back to this), who just go with it as they only care about ‘outcome, not intent.’ She doesn’t fuss about the marks too much ever again, though she acknowledges that she wasn’t asked, and isn’t too keen on belonging to anybody (will come back to this).

- Let’s look at the consent of the various parties. Since both were under the effects of the geis at the time, none of them were legally compos mentis - so M didn’t consciously plan it. He does later say he didn’t realize C was really there - and even if we believe that he lied, and that he perhaps coouuld have been lucid enough to plan the marks deliberately as a manipulation (unlikely), if nothing else, the fact that having further entanglements with Cassie reduces the chances of just being able to ask her to save Elena without complications should prove that he didn’t want to mark her any more than he wanted the geis to be changed into a love/desire spell. Moving on to C’s consent, she wasn’t aware beforehand, but she accepted it afterwards explicity. She’s asked if she wishes she had not been marked, and she doesn’t go ‘hell yeah, cause the marks annoy me’; she is also asked if she wishes to break up, and to all of that she says she doesn’t mind, and wants to have a closer relationship instead, and asks for dates. 

- Picking up on the marks having alternative potential meanings: belonging can mean as a possession, or belonging together. Same for the bite: on vampires, they signify a marriage of equals who belong together; on humans, they show that a favored magical servant belongs to a vamp family (because mages can’t be added to a vamp family the normal way). So C doesn’t want to be owned by anybody, but she’s cool with belonging together with M, which she wanted to do for years as a crush, in TtD even though she knew they won’t work out, subconsciously in CbS so that the geis responds to her wish to be with M (Pritkin’s assessment not mine btw), and when she reaffirms her post-marks dating wishes in CtD. (((It’s also interesting to note here that all intimacies that M and C are involved in were desired by Cassie, not by Mircea - she had the hots for him first for years while he obv wasn’t interested in a teenager, she wanted to ‘ride him’ while he previously didn’t look at her that way, her Pythian powers controlled the geis to morph into a love/lust loop based on her own emotions, and it’s she who wants to get to know him better and she wants to date. So the Missie relationship wasn’t forced on C, but rather something that predominantly she wanted that was accomodated by coincidences and M just went with it - not saying it was a hardship for him by any means, he seemed to be into her too, just highlighting that neither the geis nor the bite was an ensnarement plan of his making.)))

- So which interpretations is true then? Is C an equal in marriage, or is she a servant with a loyalty badge? Naturally, the vamps are going with the servant interpretation, because a twenty-something slip of a girl is not considered marriage material for an illustrious centuries-old Senator - but she sounds useful, so good job, they’re cool with it. Although ever since the demigoddess-reveal and the Pythia-duels, Cleo is increasingly suspicious that C might be a dedicated ally to M, not just a manipulated mortal, which is ringing her poor paranoid danger-bells. And another thing to note is that the vamps already accepted C as a potential equal - when she was named second, M’s vamps deferred to her, Cleo treated her as an equal, and she gave commands to Jules and Co. on the basis of hey, I’m your master’s second, which all support that the definition of vampire marriage can be applied to a Pythia in a vague enough way to accommodate her in a potential equal function, so it’s not automatically a servant badge. The rest of the magical society either don’t really know about it, or like Jonas interpret it as an unfair favor the Pythia would have towards the vampires, to which C argues that she’s loyal to her vampire family the same way other Pythias are loyal to their families.

- More so than what it means to the magical society however, it’s important to see what it means to them. C makes the valid point that M wants it both ways - a ‘personal’ relationship and a separate ‘professional’ one, which is clearly not working. However, Cassie does the same too, reinterpreting the ‘marriage’ whenever it suits her as well. She tells Mircea that he should tell her things, because they are ‘married’, so she invokes the bond when she’s trying to get access or information, or when she’s trying to boss vampires around. But when it comes to sharing info of her own, or falling in love with her bodyguard or hooking up with him, she conveniently forgets about being ‘married’. So both C and M are trying to juggle this ambiguous term to their own benefit by cherry-picking situations in which it would be beneficial to use the ‘marriage card’ to their advantage and ignore it when inconvenient.

- And as for that, I’ve tried to recall instances in which the marriage card is raised, but there isn’t many of them, especially lately; and from those earlier ones, pretty much all of it was beneficial to Cassie. When EtN-C shifts to TtD-M, it saves her life and provides a reasonable explanation why M would accept her as real. Then in the past, M presumes the mark shows that they are intimate in the future, which C agrees wasn’t against her will, so it gives past-M an excuse to get it on with Cassie, which enables the whole geis-discussion to surface. Then, in CtD, C bosses vampires around and doesn’t get thrown out of restricted med access only due to the marks, and later also has Nicu and the other older vamps treat her more attentively and seriously than they would a random yapping mortal. I genuinely don’t remember any situation in which the marriage is held against her, as in ‘as my wife, you have to make an army’ or ‘as the master’s wife, you need to stay inside when you can’t shift’ as most conflicts reference actual objections and arguments, and the marks aren’t used as an excuse to hinder, command or limit Cassie. Heck, they don’t even prevent her from dating Jonas’ selection of suitors, lol. However, as always, and as I mentioned elsewhere, do please quote the scenes at me if I glance over something of that sort.

- It’s perhaps also interesting to investigate what vampire marriage really means, because it’s clearly not what it means to modern readers, or what it generally represents in romance novels (and this isn’t one anyway). As we see a certain Lucilla being married to Senator Marcellus in Masks, vamp marriage goes back to at least Roman times and thus predates concepts of romanticism, so it can’t be about love and emotional support - it’s far more likely a more traditional marriage of common interests, shared resources and alliances, which would be in line with the pragmatism and collectivism of vampire society that practically requires its members to work on improving their and their family’s position.

So long story short, Cassie may not have been asked about the marks, nor consented to being bitten at the time; but she doesn’t protest or reject them later, and instead opts for an even closer relationship. This is also in line with the other trend in the books, in which intimacy happens due to accidents and circumstances, but generally in accordance with Cassie’s wishes. The marks were also not a malicious manipulative plan by Mircea, because he would not have chosen them consciously as they only complicate things. Furthermore however, they are never even really utilized in a negative way for Cassie, and we see more scenes in which she directly benefits from them being there, enabling her to do things she would not have done otherwise. Ultimately, Mircea doesn’t act like a husband should, and Cassie doesn’t act like a wife should, and I suggest that vamp marriage wouldn’t even be about that due to their mindset and the age of the traditional institution of marriage. So, was the point of the marks just a convenient plot device? So far, pretty much, though KC always insists that she writes everything ‘for the plot’ including the triangle, which so far had no reason to exist either. So perhaps the marks will also play a role in the future...? 

[bakurapika]

ok, real talk, with the prefacing disclaimer that i love hamilton down to my very soul

when i first listened to it, i came away thinking ‘wow, that was awesome, life changing, etc... too bad about the women’

i was surprised to learn that lin is a feminist and deliberately tried to include women as much as possible, and i think i finally figured out why it rubbed me wrong

debatably......... (mostly determined by how you interpret ‘the schuyler sisters’)....... hamilton fails the bechdel test.

hear me out! a series of essays--

the only songs that a female character sings in a non-supporting role (i’m not counting non-named ensemble women! sorry, they add a lot to the musical but they’re not “characters”) are explicitly about their relation to a man. the only ones i can conceive an argument against are the schuyler sisters and maybe the ending song. let’s go song by song:

alexander hamilton:

female lines are only ‘i loved him’ 

aaron burr sir - my shot - the story of tonight 

no female lines

the schuyler sisters

first of all, let’s start off by saying that story-wise, the song only exists in order to establish hamilton’s future love interests and peggy

first lines are all about daddy schuyler. that part of the convo fails the bechdel test

maybe you could argue that the lines ‘But—look around, look around, the Revolution’s happening in New York’ are character-defining enough to separate from the daddy convo but i think that’s a stretch for a sentence fragment

the chorus about ‘looking for a mind at work’ is prefaced by the men in the ensemble shouting ‘she’s looking for me!’, necessarily creating a sexual/romantic undercurrent to the chorus whether that’s technically what angelica meant or not. the rest of the interactions in the song reinforce this concept

the rest of the song, feminist revolutionary anthem though it may be, is angelica rebuffing burr’s romantic advances (while talking about men, including a man she’d later to have an affair with....................... but that line about getting busy with jefferson in france was deleted from the musical so i suppose for this conversation it’s non-canon)

the only potentially defensible non-man-related lines would be how angelica goes on to sing about manhattan being awesome and revolutionary, but I’d still argue that it’s in the context of her burr conversation and therefore not eligible to make the musical pass the bechdel test.

farmer refuted - you’ll be back - right hand man - a winter’s ball

no female lines

a winter’s ball mentions a woman by name (martha washington) in the context of hamilton’s reputation with the lay-deez

helpless - satisfied

these are romance songs. like that’s not bad but for the purposes of arguing that the women are characters outside of love interests......... nah

though angelica talks to herself enough to almost make it count lmao except it’s still about her male love interest

the story of tonight - wait for it 

no female lines

wait for it mentions a woman by name (theodosia bartow prevost) in the context of being burr’s love interest

stay alive

eliza and angelica get some chorus lines about wanting their love interest to survive

ten duel commandments - meet me inside

no female lines

eliza is mentioned but not by name, just as “wife”

that would be enough

eliza’s “i’m pregnant by hamilton” song. again, not unimportant, but not relevant for the bechdel test and further cementing her role as hamilton’s wife and not much else

guns and ships - history has its eyes on you - yorktown - what comes next - dear theodosia

no female lines

dear theodosia mentions a woman by name (theodosia burr) but she gets no lines. this is probably excusable due to her being a newborn at the time

theodosia bartow prevost isn’t exactly mentioned by name but is mentioned as having died offstage at this point

nonstop

no female lines until significantly through the song

angelica’s lines are about hamilton being her love interest despite her marriage

eliza’s lines are about hamilton and being his wife 

angelica and eliza sing toward the end about hamilton. again not bechdel-defying

though eliza and angelica’s lines often intertwine and chorus together, and though they supposedly have a very close sibling bond, so far we haven’t seen angelica and eliza interact (via letter or in person) since the wedding

what’d i miss - cabinet battle 1 

no female lines

what’d i miss mentions a woman by name (sally hemings) but only in the context of her being a slave

this is more of a wink-nod to jefferson’s hypocrisy which is underscored by other parts of the song (singing about how ‘we are free’ as the stairs he’s on are being carried across the stage by a parade of slaves, for example. if yall don’t know about the historical sally hemings, check her out. 

she was mostly white, for one thing. but historically white americans have viewed blacks in the context of the ‘one-drop’ rule--that is, if any ancestor of yours is black, no matter how far back, you’re black too. absurd from any standpoint except an absurd racial purity one. this wasn’t just a bunch of racists acting racist, btw, it was a legal argument that became law in the south at some points in american history. 

i’m not pointing out her being white as like ‘aw but she was a white, so sad :((((’. it means that her family tree was mostly made up of masters having relations with their slaves that would be, at the very least, an extreme power imbalance and, most probably, rape. 

like i’m sorry to use that word but that’s what it was, pure and simple. 

oh and the white masters would get to keep their own kids as slaves

this was pretty frowned upon in polite society from my understanding, but it still happened all the time, and jefferson was one of the guys who did it

she was sent to france to take care of jefferson’s daughter during a (years-long) visit. sally was 14, jefferson was 44. she became pregnant on that visit at age 16.

technically she was considered free while in france, but she followed jefferson back to america. he promised he’d let their kids go free at age 21. (he almost definitely wound up fathering 6 of her children.) jefferson did free her male kids... in his will. and he freed two of sally’s male relatives after they bought their freedom. whadda guy

sally herself was finally “informally” freed by jefferson’s daughter

sadly sally was potentially illiterate and didn’t leave us anything in her own words

ok i’m sorry that was a tangent but i think it’s an important one so i’m not deleting it. i’m not an expert, that was a wiki summary, so please correct me if anything’s misinformation (tho i know i glossed over some details.) anyway back to hamilton

take a break

hoo boy. ok. so the female lines in this song can be basically classified this way:

i’m mommy to hamilton’s son (and i can beatbox about it like a mofo)

i’m in love with hamilton

i want to spend time with hamilton and my father

we do finally get angelica and eliza interacting with each other again! they say each other’s names. then we’re back to talking about hamilton

again, not a bad song! but disappointing from the standpoint of waiting for female characters to interact without it being about hamilton

to be fair! this entire musical is a love song to hamilton. i think i could find a few male-male conversations that aren’t about my dearest alexander. but not many. everyone wants a piece of alexander

probably most of the non-alex-worshiping lines would be king george

say no to this

a new female gets lines! she talks about her husband and then seduces alexander. that’s it tho

the room where it happens

no female lines

schuyler defeated

eliza gets a few lines! it’s all about her father and husband to her son

to be fair, eliza seems really bored with all this. philip’s the one who’s bringing all the men up.

still, her only role in this scene is to give context for a burr-hamilton confrontation, and she does it by talking about a bunch of men. no bechdel-passing here.

cabinet battle 2 - washington on your side - i know him - the adams administration - we know - hurricane

no female lines

“cabinet battle 2″ at one point contained a reference to jefferson and angelica’s affair, but this was cut to “tee up the next song”

again, angelica being mentioned solely as a love interest. still such good lines argh

“we know” mentions maria, but not by name, just as “wife”

and weirdly, she’s barely mentioned at all! the focus of the song is more on her husband james reynolds and his extortion

“hurricane” mentions eliza as well as hamilton’s mother, briefly

the reynolds pamphlet

angelica gets some bamf lines! and the idea of picking her love for her sister over her love for hamilton is more of the feminist anthem we like to hear. 

but in terms of her role in the song, she’s there to romantically reject hamilton

she doesn’t talk with eliza directly, so still not enough to pass the bechdel test

eliza is mentioned as “mrs. hamilton” but has no lines

burn

another song that seems to be written from a feminist perspective! a woman reclaiming her voice in the annals of history

buuuuut............... it’s also primarily a song about eliza’s relationship with hamilton

we do finally get to hear more eliza/angelica direct correspondence! “Be careful with that one, love, he will do what it takes to survive” and “You have married an Icarus, he has flown too close to the sun.” beautiful lines, and pretty historically accurate too! but not enough to pass the bechdel test, since they’re about hamilton

blow us all away

a few new women gets lines! it’s about how wet their panties are for philip

the women have names btw, which you wouldn’t know just by listening to the soundtrack: martha and dolly, in reference to thomas jefferson and james madison’s respective wives. insert cuck jokes here

stay alive reprise

i don’t even wanna dissect this, it’s too heartwrenching. but all of eliza’s lines are with and about other men, including her son. her part in this song’s mostly about her role as the mother of hamilton’s child, not about her, specifically

it’s quiet uptown

surprisingly, angelica gets some lines at the beginning that aren’t specifically about a man! she’s referencing hamilton’s grief over his son, but also eliza’s grief. she doesn’t specify at any point that she’s focusing on alexander, and she goes for relatable generalizations instead. (until she becomes part of the chorus commenting on alex’s grieving process)

since angelica’s not talking with another woman, this still isn’t enough to pass the bechdel test. but it’s a start!

eliza gets very few lines here. i’m not necessarily saying that to be critical, though. i think her understatement is almost more powerful than hamilton’s tearful singing, and i think that’s what lin was trying to do with her character.

that said, again, her role in the song is hamilton-centered. no matter how many or how few lines she’s singing, they’d be about her husband and son

the election of 1800

no female character lines

we do get a few unnamed female lines, about a man yeah, but surprisingly as “voters” despite suffrage not yet happening! 

this might be a case of historically inaccurate actor casting the same way that white guys aren’t playing all the pasty presidents

or, it could be a nod to women’s active role in historical elections! also acknowledged in the line “ladies, tell your husbands, vote for burr”

either way, not enough to pass the bechdel test, but still a nice touch that lin went out of his way for

your obedient servant

no female lines

best of wives and best of women

eliza’s so sleep-deprived here i s2g. there’s not much to analyze in lines that are basically ‘alex oh my god it’s four am, please just come back to bed for three goddamn hours, why are you like this, i’m going to sleep”

again tho, it’s eliza-hamilton interaction, no other women, so no bechdel passing

the world was wide enough

technically angelica sings three words in the chorus here (“angelica and eliza”) so i can’t say no female lines. but it’s close

women are mentioned but only in terms of their relationship to hamilton (his mom, angelica, eliza)

who lives who dies who tells your story

of course, eliza’s lines are mostly about hamilton again.... be weird if they weren’t at this point. she talks about her life but always brings it back to the context of hamilton and his passing

eliza and angelica sing a couple lines about hamilton together, but angelica dies offstage during the song

so............ last song and we still haven’t passed the test

i’m not writing this huge tirade for any, uh, real reason. i don’t want anyone to boycott the musical or even go so far as to call it anti- or un-feminist. but ✊😭 if there’s one thing alexander hamilton’s taught me, it’s “write thousands of inflammatory and highly politicized words for no reason, every day, just because you feel like it, even if it demonizes your allies, and if no one reads it, yell a lot and write some more”

i’m honoring your legacy, alex

(and bc i really do think it’s important to critically examine the things you love from time to time, and that doesn’t mean you love them any less) 

[plebeianamanda]

Married and homeless in Singapore

As someone who's waiting for her HDB BTO flat to be built, I can honestly tell you, the most frustrating question that I've gotten is this:

"So... When will your house be ready?"

Never. Never is my answer.

Abel and I have played the waiting game for a good long time. Since Jan 2014 in fact. THAT'S THREE FLIPPING YEARS AND THE HOUSE STILL ISN'T READY YET.

Calm down Amanda.

Okay. Okay.

Yeah, Jesus.

OKAY I'M CALM.

The process to own a home in Singapore, when dumbed down and made simple with an impressive array of acronyms, is something like this:

1) Apply for BTO / DBSS / EC 2) Apply for HLE 3) Pick a HDB unit 4) Apply for ROM 5) Pay with CPF before moving in

I've done you the kindness of linking each acronym to an article about its meaning.

But though it might seem like five simple steps, it really is a tedious wait of AT LEAST five years. See, steps 1 to 3 could take about half a year to settle, depending on your luck of the draw, but steps 4 to 5, the most crucial, can last many years.

Why?

Well see. Picture being ready to spend the rest of your life with someone. You've done the whole "travelled with him/her and am ready to settle down" bit. The logical thing to do would be to move in together right?

According to the bureaucratic laws of the average Singaporean, you can't. You have to apply first.

Our red-tape strewn housing system (due to the unfortunate population-to-land ratio) has determined that to move in together and get married you'll need to ballot. That's right. In Singapore, to move into our boxy-little public housing (much better than most of the world and the most affordable!) you have to queue, and you have to join a lucky draw to determine your position in the queue! That's not even counting the fact that it is highly likely that you might not even end up in the queue at all, which relinquishes all chances of even picking a home for that round of ballots.

Try saying that in one breath.

But let's say you do get a number to join the queue, that's not the end of it. You're basically queuing for an IDEA of something. The houses aren't built yet. So you pour over brochures and layouts of what the building could look like and determine the units that you might potentially pick. Then you play the waiting game. Perhaps you're number 666 (Number were picked to express my frustration at this devilish system)

out of 1,500 potential owners and there are only nine hundred units available. Then you're going to have to hope that the first 665 don't pick the units that you want.

WHAT?!

Yes. All this could span between three months to a year.

Now let's be optimistic and say that you did get your unit and your housing loan came through (of which requires an ungodly amount of papers - payslips and what not, as proof of your ability to afford a housing loan). Then it's time to wait for your house to be built. From scratch. From a plot of dingy land.

Now my brain tells me very sensibly and honestly that I should stop complaining and be grateful. I mean, good public housing is unheard of in most parts of the world. Affordable QUALITY housing? Even less heard of! One has to be patient to enjoy good things.

But my heart. My poor, blessed heart is screaming NO.

See, you need to remember that this is a country where people can't afford to live away from their parents and buy/rent their own home. It's not just our Asian-family sensibilities that get in the way of that. Financially and practically, it makes no sense to live away from them unless your parents don't live here at all.

But that also means that a couple that wants to get married can't get their own home till after three to five years! No point getting married before getting your house right?

Longest, engagement, ever.

What many have dubbed as the "Singapore way of getting married", is really, to me, the death of romance. But it is also this utter practicality that makes Singaporeans so successful. Would you rather rich robots or penniless poets? The truth is, you can't live on love alone.

Punggol Bayview, the home upon which we await with bated breath. (TOP Q4 2018)

But we are not devoid of options. There are couples, like Abel and myself for example, and a few other friends we know, who have gotten married first then waited the five years out together. Without having a place to live.

Once again, you have options:

1) You can choose to rent, spend a senseless amount of money every month. 2) You can live with your in-laws, and risk potential problems - there's a reason why the bible says leave and cleave. 3) You can stay apart. (The stupidest option for a married couple in my opinion).

So now you can choose. Stay engaged for a really long time, or get married and feel sort of... lost.

Because that's how I feel now.

Being the impractical moron that I am and the emotional wreck that I am, I told Abel we can't lose the romance. Since he'd proposed, why wait? Why draw out a long engagement when we knew were wanted to be with each other? He agreed.

When we got married, Abel and I were pretty optimistic. But we had run through the options of renting (waste of money and no money), buying a resale first and selling it before our BTO comes (possible but pointless as it was predicted that the market will just get worse when we're looking to sell) and finally landing on staying with the in-laws.

My house, stuffed to the brim with a hormonal teenager and a grumpy young adult, was no space for a young married couple. Not to say the least my angry father who lost his temper at the slightest things. No. No. No. So it fell upon Abel's home. As the only child, his room boasted a queen-sized bed, I'd only be competing with his dad for the toilet. Why not? I agreed.

What a mistake.

My in-laws are great. They are welcoming people who have always been lovely to me, but let's be honest, a ton of problems arrive with living with your in-laws.

1) They're not used to your habits and you're not used to theirs 2) You can never argue with your husband in front of them, which leads to the next and the most important point 3) You can never really comfortable, because you can never be yourself

It took a toll man.

While all that was bad, what I felt the most was this feeling of not belonging anywhere. I felt so lost most of the time. Nothing of real importance (putting aside clothes and other superficial things) was mine. The bed was Abel's old bed, the room, though painted, was Abel's. The wardrobe was his, the toilet, his dad's. (You have no idea how important a toilet is to me.) The kitchen, not mine! I couldn't be comfortable no matter the things I used to decorate the space or the kitchen tools I bought. Not even bringing Hachi could make me feel better.

I felt like a squatter in someone else's home. Forever indebted, forever useless.

It was then I realised that I was going to have to do this for the next few years. It made me even more miserable. I couldn't return home either because my parents had thrown out my bed and replaced it with a desk for my sister.

My motto in life became "boh bian lor." Loosely translated: "no choice."

It made me crazy. Abel and I quarrelled frequently. I spent a lot of time at the playground crying at night. I lost the will the to work out. I never went home first without him and I hardly left the room to do anything. It was awkward. It was strange. I was also going through a job transition during that period of time. Finally, I think Abel and I decided to try renting again.

We found a gorgeous apartment in Geylang. A condo studio apartment, $1,600. We counted. We could afford it, but barely. After a long, drawn-out quarrel, we decided that we wouldn't go for it. My ever-sensible husband made the wise choice of forgoing that splendid apartment. I bemoaned its loss and longed to have a place to call my own.

Then I became jobless (you can read about my experience here) and after working in SPH for so long, I felt a part of myself die. Something else that was mine, gone. Then my Macbook died. My one and only tool of trade. I was done. I had hit rock bottom. I swear. There was this profound sense of loss, not knowing where I was going and feeling as though life was meaningless. All the regrets I had came pouring out. 2016 was the year of STUPID decisions, STUPID people, STUPID problems and a hundred other stupid things. I really lost it I think.

But after that bout of depression, I had to move on right? I just sucked it up. Got freelance work, a cheaper computer (which I'm still using btw) and continued living as I did. Existing.

Then something happened. My grandfather passed away.

I loved him. He was a great grandfather. Not a perfect man, but there's no such thing right?  He passed away peacefully, and his funeral was carried out by people who loved him. Then my grandmother, Por Por, who had lost the man she loved, offered something that changed everything.

She offered her home.

My grandparents sleep slept in separate rooms, Por Por in the common room, Ah Kong in the master bedroom. She told my mum that she thought it would be a good idea for Abel and I to move in with her. Without hesitation, my wonderful husband agreed. He forgo living with his family to live with Por Por, someone he only saw for dinners on alternate Sundays.

For that, I'll always be grateful. For that, I know he is a wonderful husband. (But it also makes me feel guilty for a lot of other things sometimes heh.)

We aired out the room, repainted the space. Bought a $163 Ikea wardrobe, raided the As-Is department in Ikea (heaven for poor couples) and installed a new toilet bowl.

The process was cleansing.

Not as big as it looks. But just as bright as it appears.

I felt as though it was mine. A proper space to call my own. We had repainted and redone it with our own hands! Sure everything else belonged to Por Por, but this room was ours. The TOILET was ours. I didn't have to wait for someone else to use it, I wasn't accountable to someone else aside from my husband! I could bomb it, fart it in and clean it without feeling like I'm cleaning someone else's shit (literally).

This huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.

Then I finally got a job, we went on our honeymoon to Sweden and Iceland (you can read about the trip here) and everything else fell into place. I'm not as stressed anymore. I see my parents once in a while, I see Abel's parents once in a while, things are good! My hair looks good, my skin is fantastic, I just need to work on my weight and finances.

I even made a terrarium!

So calming hor.

Thanks to a loving family and loving husband, I survived. There are a lot of fortunate ones. Those rich, those who can afford to buy private housing or resale. Those who don't have to wait because they managed to get a sale-of-balance flat.

But it made me think, what about all the other younger Singaporeans out there waiting to get married because their home isn't ready? Those already married but living with their in-laws or struggling to make ends meet because of rent?

If you're out there, I just want you to know that you're not alone. You're not alone in thinking that you're selfish for wanting more. You're not alone in thinking that things could have been done better. You're not alone in feeling guilty for not putting in more effort with your in-laws. But more importantly, I want you to know that you did not make the wrong choice getting married without a house.

Because what is humanity without love?

All my problems could have been solved if we had been patient and decided to get married later. But we didn't. We made the choice and we lived with the consequences. And I remember, no matter how bad it got, I was always reminded that at the end of the day I'll survive and I'll be happy again because I am married to my husband. I don't regret my choice, and I will never regret my choice.

[silentgirl13-blog1]

Silent Girl

So, it's probably taken me close to a year to have the balls to try and tell this story. Since the first incident, more has occurred. Today, as I was having dinner with my in-laws, I decided that I need to get this off my chest to a community of people who can either relate, feel my frustration, or even comment things I wish I could say.

It starts like this. I have been married about 3.5 years now. I moved away from home roughly 3 months after I got married to live with my husband, (who was in the Army) a few thousand miles away from our home town. The relationship that I had with his family was good. His mother didn't approve of the wedding at first, but his dad and step-mom did. They were full on supportive, and welcomed me with open arms. His mother didn't hate me, she just wasn't ready for her son to be married. She is very practical. I obviously was hurt, but she soon changed her tone. The problems started after maybe 2 years of being away from family. Because we were so far away, we became a bit secluded. We didn't text very often, due to time difference and schedules being completely unknown. They had two young kids, and by the time we were home from work, had dinner and relaxed, it was past the time we could contact them. We both had members of our family pass away. We were thankfully able to go home for the funerals, etc. I have really bad anxiety and depression. Being so far away, I kind of lost myself a little bit. Between losing my Aunt, my pet bunny passed away (hubby and I got him when we first started dating, but couldn't move with him, so my family kept him for me) and my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I was in a very very rough spot. My depression got so bad, I was put on medicine. The medicine helped for about 2 months, and then I started cutting due to the side effects. This went on for about 2 months before I told anyone. My husband was devastated. My mom, sister (who dealt with self-harm before) and dad supported me, scolded me, tried to get me to see that I needed further help. Fast forward a month. It's now the month of May, 2016. I posted a bit too many "dark memes" on facebook. I opened up too much, about my personal issues. I own up to that, and I have since then fixed those issues. So, I'm laying in bed with my cat, and take a selfie because he was being cute and cuddling me. 1. I'm sick with really bad allergies. 2. I am drugged up due to said allergies. 3. It's slightly dark and I'm not paying attention to the picture I post on FB. This picture turns out showing some of my cuts on my wrist. Now, I don't usually over analyze my photos because of self esteem issues, I just post them. A "family friend" who is dating my husbands best friend comments and asks if my cat scratched me. (BACKSTORY: When my husband left for the Army, he asked his dad to make sure his friend was okay. They clicked and so the best friend and his gf became really close, almost as surrogates for my husband and I) I click on the picture, see the cuts, and immediately delete the picture. I message her informing her that I removed the photo because I didn't realize the cuts were showing and that I was going through some things at the time. SHE BLEW UP ON ME. Told me that I was attention seeking, needed to get help, had been doing this for years, how dare I post on facebook knowingly about my self harm, and she needed to delete me off Facebook because I was depressing and bringing her down. I mean, okay. Fine. I get it. Completely uncalled for, but sure. What REALLY hurt me, was my father in law and his wife called my husband to yell at him, basically saying I wasn't pulling my weight, and needed to get my shit together. Then IGNORED me for a full month, only to text me a week before we went home for vacation to tell me that they didn't appreciate what I did and that we'd talk in person when we flew in. Yeah, that never happened. They pretended it never happened. And I am too much of a little bitch to start any sort of confrontation.

Okay, so that happened. We forgot about it. Now, let us fast forward to October, 2016. I flew home until early Dec. to try and figure out living arrangements for after Army. I wasn't very social with hubbys family because it was awkward, since they went out EVERY weekend with 'family friend girl'. SMIL (step mother in law) and her became almost inseparable. Mind you, there is probably a 15-20 year difference between them. They invited me out a few times, I had to decline. In November, my phone service was shut off and I never received an invite for my baby brother in laws bday. I saw on FB I missed it, and IMMEDIATELY messaged SMIL to apologize and explain. No answer. Okay. Saw them for Thanksgiving. Things were okay. I was told to never be a stranger because they want me around. Thought things were good. We've been back home (out of the Army) since Dec. 2016. We've been struggling to find work. Very sad, but also thankful that a situation happened and my parents needed to move out of their house, and someone to take over. My husband and I agreed. It's a free place, we can save money faster, and it helps my parents. My two younger siblings (19, 20) live here too. I'm 23, and my hubby is 24, btw. So, it's like having roommates. Anyways, so I posted during a nice day that I was going out with my siblings. I don't smile much due to a missing tooth. Just super self conscious about it. SMIL commented and told me to be happy I was still alive. The way she worded it definitely hit a nerve with me and all my facebook family. They commented, so I deleted so no drama would happen. (My family is VERY overprotective and dramatic) I texted SMIL and asked her if everything was okay. No answer. Texted again an HOUR later, said I didn't appreciate her being negative towards me. She finally responded to me, going off (meanwhile, 'family friend girl' is posting online about how negative people continue to do the same stuff. Meme directed towards me. I cried for probably an hour. I was told by SMIL, that I was negative and it was the same old same old with me. That I needed to stop bringing the family down on social media. They asked me and hubby to stop over. I agreed. WORST MISTAKE EVER. They called a 'family meeting'. Invited 'family friend', grandma and us. We get there, I'm sweating bullets, shaking, and want to vomit. They told me this was a long time coming. I sit down, and SMIL starts by saying, "So, I'm the bad guy here because I called $#%@$ out on Facebook about what we've all been thinking." I'm speechless. I literally stood there with my mouth open. She continues on about how the whole family is worried about hubby because I'm so negative and it affects the family name. People always ask what's wrong with me, and THE BEST:

"What has our son gotten himself into marrying you?"

Everyone basically told me that I'm the same old sob story, and that something had to change, or we had to go our separate ways.

Mind you, this is over a picture of me, enjoying the sun, but not smiling... I obviously said nothing, because I never do. My husband also didn't say anything because he also got scolded for being a working adult who also is trying to re instate himself into a world that isn't the ARMY.

Statement: We were told that if we feel replaced by "best friend" and "family friend", its because we left...

Actual fact: We got stationed 2000 plus miles away. I wasn't going to just leave my hubby there by himself for 4 years.

I think that's about all I have to say about the situation. Things are awkward, and when we get together, I try my best to put on the most fake smile for them. Because I love my husband, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure he has a relationship with his family.

Do I enjoy it? HELL NO. Does my family support my decision? Again, HELL NO. But what am I to do?

Sincerely, The Silent Girl

[qkantyjk-blog]

How to get the cheapest insurance for a 17 year old?

How to get the cheapest insurance for a 17 year old?

Does anybody know any tips that would lower my insurance? I was looking at prices of insurance for a 1L peugeot 107, which cost around 2000, and the prices were 4000+. My girlfriend was looking at prices for herself and the prices were around 1500 for a 5000 Vauxhall Corsa. Any help is appreciated.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :HELP-INSURE.NET

SOURCES:

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